FHM # 40, January 2004 Magazine

FEATURES
64 QUOTE, UNQUOTE
TRACY MORGAN
On The Tracy Morgan Show he plays Tracy Mitchell. You figure it out.
66 ARSON
BLAZING FOR GLORY
Here's what happens when firemen love doing their job so much they start lighting infernos themselves.
70 DARK MISTRESS
MERCEDES McNAB
She plays a vampire on Angel, which is appropriate, considering she's gorgeous enough to raise the dead.
76 SEX SURVEY
GLOBAL HOTSPOTS
The statistical trends found by our massive global sex survey have justified the existence of math.
84 LIVE WIRE
MARIANELA PEREYRA
Someday humanity will tire of MTV's countless Real World reruns. This Fuse hottie provides the alternative.
90 LEISURE
THE 50 GREATEST GAMES OF ALL TIME!
Twister and Donkey Kong have two things in common: They're both on this list and they both let you see plumber's crack.
104 COVER GIRL
NEVE CAMPBELL
First she suckered you into watching Party of Five. Now you might see a movie about ballet.
112 QUOTE, UNQUOTE
THE VIRUS HUNTER
If you ever start bleeding from your eyeballs, this is the guy to call.
IN EVERY ISSUE
14 LETTERS
The nation's finest rack, a man who wrestles gators and the chump who accidentally interviewed Axl Rose.
20 REPORTER
Jamie Salé with no skates, Barn Margera's dad with no shirt and the best "Who the Hell Are You?" ever.
47 REVIEWS
The Offspring host happy hour in their home. Plus, the guy behind Gollum speaks and Pink bares all.
115 FASHION
Prowl city streets looking like you tumbled out of The Matrix. Then try the winter's best boots.
130 MACHINERY
It is winter. Thus, you should strap a large plank to your feet and slide down mountains. Trust us.
135 GASOLINE
Inside the love-filled workshop of il American Chopper's Teutul family. Plus, FHM races for pinks!
140 BIONIC
Becoming a top bodyguard involves having the tar repeatedly beaten out of you.
ADDED VALUE
62 BAR ROOM JOKES
When a comedian is really funny, he gets to slap his name on a sitcom. If you're really funny, you get your name on a joke in a magazine.
144 TRUE STORIES
Readers share their shudder-inducing tales, including one about anal beads used improperly.