Friends and lovers Book

Although most examples in the book are outdated (it first came out in 1991), Families We Choose is still incredibly relevant. At the time of publication issues such as same-sex marriage, non-biological parent adoptions, adoption in general, etc. were not yet legal as they are today in most countries in the western world (this book concentrates solely on the western perspective). Today the landscape of "gay families" (author's term; today I'd call them queer families) is a topic of much political debate and legislation reform. Many of the questions in this book have been answered, to an extent. The world has evolved in the past 25 years, for better or worse. There is much to be grateful for. (Like that anal sex is legal in Texas! Hurray!) Surprisingly though, some ideas that come up in this book have not been recognized.

At the end of the book Weston questions whether the way we organize our families will evolve in the same direction as its heterosexual counterpart (i.e. parents, kids, nuclear family style, the parents just "happen" to be gay) or if the evolving recognition of gay families will include kinship in a broader sense: the essence of gay families that often consist of peers, friends, friend's spouses, their children and sometimes even their siblings/parents etc., older and younger queer people mixed in a variety of ways). Sadly, we have not come that far.

I would also like to read a similar study done now. All in all, this book is an important, although isolated, reminder that families come about in all kinds of different ways.