Destinies Collide Book

Several interesting points about perfectionism. I liked the author's views on the consequences in the individual's relationship and society in general, e.g work, parenting and marriage. 3.5 stars

Favourite quotes:

"We now have a workforce full of people who need constant reassurance and can't take criticism. Not a recipe for success in business, where taking on challenges, showing persistence, and admitting and correcting mistakes are essential."

A new generation of children is being raised by adults who applaud loudly and reprimand meekly. One reason for doing so is the natural desire of parents and educators to be liked and the assumption that the child will like them more if they are generous with praise and frugal with criticism.

We convince ourselves that there is no limit to how far we can push ourselves, that just as science produces better, faster, more reliable and steady machines, we too can hone our abilities through modifying our nature. Adhering to the unconstrained view of human nature, we attempt to train ourselves to need less downtime'to sleep less, to rest less, to cease less'to do more and stretch ourselves beyond our limits. But, like it or not, there is a limit, and if we continue to violate nature's demands, to abuse ourselves, we will pay the price'individually and as a society. The rising levels of mental health problems, coupled with improved psychiatric medication, are thrusting us toward a brave new world.

More and more couples engage in public displays of contention. Sanctioned by our culture of reality shows that have brought voyeurism to prime-time television, many couples feel comfortable airing their dirty laundry in public. Strife, when public, adds humiliation to the equation, embarrassing not only the person being chastised but also those who are forced to witness the interaction. In essence, what a relationship needs is basic respect and common courtesy.

One of the most significant benefits of suffering is that it breeds a deep respect for reality, for what is. While the experience of joy connects us to the realm of infinite possibilities, the experience of pain reminds us of our limitations.