FHM # 56, May 2005 Magazine

FEATURES
78 Q&A
JOHAN SANTANA
Most fans celebrate their hero's triumphs with high-fives. Followers of this Twins hurter crash his house and scare his kid.
80 Hardball
PLAY BALL!
FHM's baseball preview all but adjusts your cup for the upcoming season.
94 Testing
HOW DUMB ARE YOUP
Nothing will make you feel stupider than realizing you can't find Nebraska on a map.
96 Mayra Veronica
WELCOME TO PARADISE
Besides the mustaches that surround her, she's Univision's greatest attraction.
104 Amusements
COASTER HEAVEN!
Take a front seat on the wildest rides that scientists and carnies could create.
106 Angling
BASS MASTERS hows used to bore catatonics. Now, rs hoot, holler and break dance.
114 Eruptions
VOLCANOS
Learn everything you didn't when Dad took over your second-grade science project.
116 Cover Girl
MARIAH CAREY
Hide the fine china! The vocally versatile glass-shatterer talks about the notches on her bedpost. And how to get her digits.
124 Q&A
SCOTT BORAS
If this Ober-agent had negotiated your salary, you wouldn't be eating bologna for lunch.
IN EVERY ISSUE
18 LETTERS
Readers create portable phone booths, wear Rice Krispies and clown their cars. Plus, the biggest pig nuts you've ever seen.
28 INCOMING
Learn what fear really is—killer robots, knife-wielding pirates and Satan's guitars. I Then find out Don Vito's take on the hopeless youth of America.
51 REVIEWS
Director Mel Brooks on how pizza kills and a surprisingly shirted Chris Cornell on how not to turn into a Frenchie. Plus, a robot whose cranium is a planet!
68 LADIES CONFIDENTIAL
Five enigmatic ladies, the greatest pair of advice-suppliers ever assembled and more available bachelorettes than we've ever been able to bring you
127 FASHION
Get casual with weekend duds, UV-protected with special specs and sloppy wet in funky footwear.
148 MACHINERY
See what man would have looked like operating chain saws and playing with portable accessories before evolution began millions of years ago.
154 SPEED
Ford and Shelby tag-team to create an all-aluminum, all-muscle speed demon. Then our car columnist explains how to deal with your back-seat-driving girlfriend.
158 BIONIC
The World's Fastest Man—aka Justin Gatlin—shares the secrets of his gold-medal legwork, from the intricate technique to the puke-inducing sprints.
ADDED VALUE
26 TRUE STORIES
Oakland A's ace Barry Zito shares tales of pranks, grannies and trannies—the perfect True Stories trifecta!
66 BAR ROOM JOKES
You'll cry tears of laughter, then have to convince Dad not to berate you. Crybaby.
164 WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
When strangers invade your pictures, we put out APBs on their ass.