Truth in Dating: Finding Love by Getting Real Book

Millions of single people — whether never married or recently divorced — put a lot of energy into meeting and dating new people, but because they don’t invest their true selves, their efforts often go nowhere. To counter this trend, Susan Campbell presents an approach to dating that many may consider radical: Be honest about yourself and ask for what you want, up front. Campbell shows people how to have fun by flirting truthfully; date without getting ahead of the relationship; enjoy the freedom of being themselves; relate with honesty to their dates; realistically examine what a romantic partner can — and can’t — offer in the way of fulfillment and happiness; and move forward when the time is right, or say goodbye if it’s not working. On the way to finding the love of their lives, readers gain the tools they need to successfully manage the entire process.

Library Journal

Lowndes (How To Make Anyone Fall in Love with You) dubs the titular man or woman a "Royal"; while nabbing one is the goal here, avoiding the frogs that just might not turn into fairy-tale princes (or princesses) also largely figures. A crass, calculated tone of subterfuge permeates the portrayal of the Royal camp as a kingdom that readers infiltrate to capture a rich or gorgeous Royal. Disguise, fakery, and deceit (e.g., "diet and dress to disguise deficiencies") are nearly constant. Though 48 main points are largely fine (e.g., brains beat beefcake), Lowndes's tone grows wearisome. Readers may find the fatalistic "once a frog, always a frog" attitude demeaning; indeed, isn't everyone someone's frog to some degree? (Index not seen.) Ten years ago, psychologist Campbell, then 50, found herself single after many years of marriage. To pick up the pieces, she put her considerable professional wisdom and life experience to work. The lesson she shares here: be yourself. An antidote to Lowndes's cynicism, Campbell's personal, encouraging book (an ironic follow-up of sorts to her preceding work, The Couple's Journey: Intimacy as a Path to Wholeness) focuses on keeping dignity and integrity intact through the dating process. While relating her own experiences and those of others, she advocates using "dating as an awareness practice" for learning, growing, and ultimately being dependent on a relationship for a sense of well-being. "Truth skills" (e.g., giving and asking for feedback, sharing mixed emotions) help readers remain honest with themselves and with prospective mates. Campbell's book is recommended for all libraries; Lowndes enjoys a high media profile, so there may be demand for her book, but a much stronger choice is Barbara Dafoe Whitehead's Why There Are No Good Men Left: The Romantic Plight of the New Single Woman. Copyright 2004 Reed Business Information.