Reviews for Truth in Dating: Finding Love by Getting Real

The average rating for Truth in Dating: Finding Love by Getting Real based on 2 reviews is 4.5 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2012-02-23 00:00:00 Daniel Fineman If you were to poll a hundred people, asking if they believe that honesty is a value in dating and other relationships, I suspect you would find at least 95%, if not more, would say yes. In this book, author Susan Campbell's key points, as well as my own personal experience, indicate that many people don't really understand and a few don't even support the idea of honesty when it comes to significant relationships. This book, one of the best books I have read in decades, is about truth in relationships. As the title implies, the primary focus of this book is about dating but the ideas and concepts presented apply to ANY relationship. Campbell says as much herself in the book. One of Campbell's main points is to choose to be honest in your relationships simply for the sake of being transparent and authentic. In contrast she talks about how so many relationships are about either one or both people setting up situations or posturing so that they maximize benefits to themselves or minimize unwanted reaction from the partner. Its amazing how pervasive that mindset is in our culture. Campbell gives a short quiz at the beginning of the book as a tool to see how truthful you are in your relationships. As a person who has generally striven to be honest I found it a bit humbling to find a few instances where I wasn't and didn't realize it. I find that often people think that being completely honest with a partner means to reveal every detail about their past to the other person. I think it important to note that I don't believe it is Campbell's premise that one must necessarily reveal every detail and fact about themselves to a dating (or other realtionship) partner. One could certainly take that approach but I don't believe that Campbell is advocating that and I don't think its always necessary . What IS Campbell's premise is that if you are withholding information from a partner what is your motivation and intention for doing so? If its because you fear a certain reaction then that is precisely the situation when you should be revealing it (and admitting your fears for doing it). Facts about your life that you are completely done and over with where you have zero energy about someone knowing about needn't be revealed. But the key point here is that many people, even many of those that claim to be, are not truly 100% done with some aspects of their past. So Campbell advocates honesty for the sake of being transparent and being real. We are most attractive and most lovable when we do so. I have recommended this book to many, many people over the years since I read it. Its definitely worth reading.

Review # 2 was written on 2013-01-08 00:00:00 Stephen Leggett I'm on my second time through this book. Written by a woman who lived on The Farm community. This is a great book, for any single, or even those in steady relationships. It's about showing up as authentically as possible, moving beyond the fears associated with truth telling, and taking responsibility for one's own happiness... no relationship is ever going to make up happy. I can see the influence of Eastern wisdom in here. It emphasizes the power of vulnerability. How opening a space of real honesty and making oneself vulnerable is actually a great strength that people can feel and respond to. Truth and honesty is the only hope for relationships to work. This book gives great examples, practices, debunks common myths and is written in clear, engaging relatable language, an easy read. Here's to making love work by total acceptance of self and other.