Personal Relations Theory Book

Full Disclosure: I am an introvert. Full fledged introvert. I have a general disdain for the part of the ego that desires acceptance from other people. I feel a need to rebel and quiet that part of the self. And like most introverts, I do not equate being alone with loneliness. I also have what Ainsworth calls a non-attached attachment type.

I do however do not wish to succumb to the extreme of my personality type. I wanted to make sure I was not being obstinately clinging to my introverted inclinations to the detriment of my well being. I wanted to make sure I was still the turtle who found the inside of his shell cozy and not some critter crushed under a rock of isolation.

Having read this I have had to reconsider the causes of my recent inability to concentrate. I had suspected low testosterone and/or TSH levels, but now I would prudent to add my not so social introverted inclinations to the list of possible culprits. In which case, can someone give me a hug?

Anyway, Cacioppo and Patrick postulate that loneliness has several detrimental effects. These things not only affect us on the psychological on social levels but also physiologically. It has a positive correlation to cardiac problems and impairs executive functions of the brain among other things.

It reminded me a lot of Peggy La Cerra's "The Origin Of Minds." In it she mentioned that depression is an adaptive behavior which makes us slow down and asses the situation. (Of course the authors propose that loneliness be treated as a separate psychological disorder itself and not a symptom of, say, depression as we often think.) In this sense, loneliness is much like a fever, a response to a negative situation but, due to it's positive feedback properties, becomes problematic when left to it's own devices.

The authors largely draw upon the branches of social and evolutionary psychology, more of the latter really, to, I think, a fault. About 2/3 of the 2nd part and much of the first part of the last segment, they discussed chimpanzee and bonobo behavior. Though it is interesting to a degree, I fail to see how bonobos rubbing crotches to greet each other has relative use to us humans. Indeed, at several portions of the book, I had qualms on how the comparisons between our cousins were being made. I mean, sure we share 98 percent of our DNA, but we are clearly very different from them. There's only so far you can take such observations. The slippery slope argument of course is that we fall into a Mein Kampf kind of rhetoric. (OMG. I sound like Glenn Beck.) Perhaps I was just projecting my expectations of the book.

I am going to have to read this again when I become more learned in this corner of the science. Meanwhile, can someone please give me a hug already? =P