Reviews for Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships

The average rating for Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships based on 2 reviews is 1.5 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2016-06-28 00:00:00 Christopher Esch I was raised a Christian and professed my own choice of the Christian faith at 13 but after reading a slew of Christian help books I can easily understand why people are fleeing the Christian faith in droves. This book made me question my own faith after decades (decades!!) of dedication. The Worst: The absolute two lowest points in the book were the scene where the author speaks of a woman having her jaw broken by her husband and then forgiving him and the scene of the sexually abused daughter. Let's start with the wife beater. Anyone who has read even one darn book on abusive disorders knows that the abuser is often apologetic afterwards. In fact, many instances of early abuse will include I'm sorry along with flowers, jewelry or whatever the abused would consider a nice gift. This doesn't stop the abuser from continuing the abuse. This is because it is often not a choice for them but that is a whole separate discussion. That anyone would blithely recommend accepting a sincere apology in the instance of a jaw broken in a fit of rage is quite frankly repulsive and ignorant. Sure, if you trip over your husband's feet and he is sorry because you are hurt that is one thing. That wasn't the case here. Let me quote the text: If a man is given to fits of anger and strikes out at his wife, hitting her on the chin and breaking her jaw, he may sincerely confess, and she may genuinely forgive. But her jaw is still broken and may cause her difficulty for years to come. Note what is missing - mentions of police interaction or therapy. Also, what about verses like Psalm 106:3How blessed are those who keep justice, Who practice righteousness at all times!Deuteronomy 16:20"Justice, and only justice, you shall pursue, that you may live and possess the land which the LORD your God is giving you.Psalm 140:12 I know that the LORD will maintain the cause of the afflicted I could quote all day but my point is that sloppy writing/counseling which includes asking a wife to forgive her abuser without any consequences, treatments or enforced changes, all in the name of Jesus, lead many to look at Christ with horror. He becomes the advocate for things He would never have stood for when we encourage battered wives to have "mercy" and don't pursue justice for them and professional help for their abusers. Appalling moment number two came when they had a sexually abused woman apologize to her family for "allowing bitterness, anger and resentment to keep me away from you for all these years." On page 155 they explain, "To be sure, those who were abused by parents needed also to receive an apology. But that was not likely to happen unless they initiated the process." Again, the process places the responsibility on the abused to reach out to the abuser. No thought to personal safety or any kind of justice or protection of others is offered. Jesus wants us to forgive. That's an absolute doctrine of the faith and I am not disputing or refuting that. God forgave us He wants us to forgive others. But just like God most often doesn't remove the consequences of our sin when He forgives us, He doesn't expect us to absolve consequences for others. Being sorry you did drugs doesn't change the physical or judicial consequences of it, no matter how often you tell God you are sorry. .We are not restored to the past by God's forgiveness for what we have done - none have been returned to Eden because we repented. The relationship between God and man is restored by repentance but the consequence remains. So too the consequence of a wife beater and rapist should not be alleviated because of an apology, no matter how sincerely felt or beautifully worded. They broke the law of both God and man and should pay appropriately. It would take a book to spell out the complete doctrinal errors of this book's arguments but I hope those reading it don't mistake the author's opinions for the teaching of Jesus. Some of it might be but the errors contained within are so glaring they cover over the little truth to be gleaned.

Review # 2 was written on 2009-11-09 00:00:00 Robb Lovre Several of my friends are reading other books in this line (the five love languages, etc). One of them told me to "keep my filter on." I'll say. This book has a very Christian focus. The chapter on forgiveness was pretty much useless to me, as it was mostly "let go and let God". (Would a more careful reading of the book jacket have forewarned me? Possibly.) A lot of the examples are also based on Christian morals. Man, I thought I had problems...people get upset about some really silly things. (Note: looking at porn != porn addiction! Hello!) I think what bothered me most was that there was a lack of what I'd consider healthy boundaries in the example scenarios & solutions. (Warning: potential trigger ahead.) I found it offensive to suggest that a molested child who had run away from home return and apologize to her parents first. In fact, I kinda turned the air in the room a bit blue when I read that. Despite all that, I will probably go ahead & read the five love languages, JFK.