Reviews for The Elephant in the Playroom: Ordinary Parents Write Intimately and Honestly about the Extraordinary Highs and Heartbreaking Lows of Raising Kids with Special Needs

The average rating for The Elephant in the Playroom: Ordinary Parents Write Intimately and Honestly about the Extraordinary Highs and Heartbreaking Lows of Raising Kids with Special Needs based on 2 reviews is 4.5 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2009-01-08 00:00:00 Peter Delohery I hated reviews of this book, a collection of essays I think everyone should read. Elephant came about because Denise Brodey, editor of Fitness mag, wanted to hear the stories of other parents of special needs children when her son was diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder and childhood depression in 2003. Using her professional background, Brodey asked these parents to share their stories - the ups and downs, joys and pains, laughter and tears - in short essays. These are the experience of parents and siblings whose lives are affected by special needs children. I took immense comfort in these stories even as I seethed at the reviewers. I went through with a pen (not even a pencil), starring and underlining and drawing smiley faces and exclamation points . Everyone spoke the truth of my existence, even if the diagnoses of our children differed. "[T:]he whiplash of being a special-needs mom seemed permanent," writes Brodey (p 83). A mother of a son with autism echoes my fatigue: "I could never, ever, let my guard down, and by the end of the day, the strain of always trying to stay one step ahead of his overactive mind exhausted me physically and mentally." (p 64) The contributors have experiences that range from simply tiring and/or training, to heartbreaking. There's one mother who recounts what a teacher friend overheard in the teachers lounge, when another teacher came in and complained she "had that damn autistic kid." Or the woman who had two boys, both in need of medication for their ADHD, and kept a blog of her personal challenges. A national group singled out her experience as an example of their cause - mandatory sterilization. An experience universal to the parents of special needs children is the dearth of services - therapy, school, social. Still, one glaring absence in this collection was the experience of low-income families. The families in this book had the resources to push and advocate for their children with government agencies, schools, etc. Families in which there is only one parent, or in which both parents have to work, have no recourse available. All of the reviewers of this book praised it, recommending it to any parent of a special-needs child. And, well, sure, community is great. But how many people, who are childless, or who have neurotypical and physiotypical kids, are going to crack this book? In the end, that seems to me to be the point. So many of us have endured the comments from strangers about how to raise our "disobedient kids," or the teachers who ignore our children because "they don't get it anyway." We know these people are not cruel, only ignorant. Why isn't this book recommended to them? Feed it to the media, shout it to the masses: READ THIS BOOK. It's quick, it's well-written, it's humorous and hopeful. Everyone needs its message, because any time someone in cruelty or thoughtlessness belittles someone with special needs, the fabric of humanity frays, and we are all the shabbier for it.

Review # 2 was written on 2011-02-21 00:00:00 Lori Meehan Inspiring and surprisingly funny, heartbreaking and painfully comforting... this book is a collection of essays by parents about raising kids with special needs. My husband and I picked it up at the bookstore during one of our many quests for answers. Then the book sat in a pile waiting to be read for months. My husband finally picked it up and finished reading it in about three days. He let out a huge sigh, of relief, "Wow, we're not alone." It took me weeks to get through it, and perhaps an entire box of Kleenex. I let out many heavy sighs, of despair, "Wow, we're not alone." While my husband took comfort in knowing other parents share similar struggles, I found that fact to be somewhat depressing. Many times I set the book aside, vowing not to read one page more. A few days later, I would pick it up again, read just one more essay. I'm glad I finally finished the book; it comes full circle through a wide range of emotions, and it ends with acceptance and hope. The book covers topics such as medication, schools, going public, the constant ups and downs, taking time for yourself. Anyone who is raising a special needs child should take a look. Many of the stories will make you cry - some tears of sorrow, some tears of joy. A few stories will make you angry. Nearly all will make you either nod your head in agreement as you read ("yes, that's so true") or shake your head in disgust ("ugh, that's so true"). If you know someone raising a child with special needs, this book provides insight and perspective that's hard to come by without walking in their shoes.