Reviews for The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships

The average rating for The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships based on 2 reviews is 4.5 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2012-09-12 00:00:00 Andrew Woodward I was perusing the "bargain books" today and had two classics in my hand. "The Secret Garden" and "Sherlock Holmes:The first 12 original stories." Both for $2.99 a piece. When I came across this one, I read the back cover and quickly put the other 2 back (as I am 1:cheap and 2:coming to the end of my weekly spend money. Dang budget rules!) Now as you can see by my profile pic, I am as pasty white as they come so why pick up a book about Black relationships? I'll tell you! lol My husband and I volunteer at a men's prison teaching Identity (under the guise of an addictions recovery program). One thing we hear A LOT is, "well, it's a cultural thing/difference" in reference to relationship conversations. I have been doing this for a little over 2 years now, and about 98% of the guys in my class are Black. So obviously, there is a barrier there where I will never understand some things and vice versa. I LOVE THAT! I picked this book up to help it make sense to me, and I got so much more out of this book. This book helped me understand the stereo-types that plague the men in my class. I love the men in my class. They work their way into my heart and I want to see EACH of them succeed and have successful, happy, healthy, and FREE lives. We have some raw conversations, and of course disagreements, but what I love is at the end of class they can still shake my hand and say "thank you for coming Miss Amy." This night is THE highlight of my week. This book helped give me the "inside scoop" if you will, into grasping how different yet truly alike we really are. It helped me to see how I have been wrong as well. This book made me look at myself and see how what I thought was a "cop-out", was more of an ingrained mindset. I'll be honest, there were a few parts that kind of hurt my feelings as a white woman, when the women being interviewed shared how they viewed "us". But I also am confident in who I am, and WHOSE I am; so I quickly processed those feelings and moved on. I was raised to love everyone regardless of color, status in society, etc. I think Black people are beautiful, just as I think Latino, Asian, White, etc are beautiful. I have never been able to grasp why skin color has ever been an issue. But the reality is, as I have begun to find out through pointed conversations, that my mindset is somewhat rare. This is the longest review I have ever given! LOL but this book meant so much to me because it helps me understand the men I am helping to lead. I can't wait to look through different eyes next Tuesday when I sit in my classroom and interact with "my boys". Thank you Hill Harper for taking the time to ask the tough questions of your race, and begin to help them rise above what the world has told them they can be. To help them become who God created them to be. Men of character who lead their families with love and conviction.....I'll shut up now! Thanks again!

Review # 2 was written on 2012-10-30 00:00:00 Christopher Peinado Hill Harper's new book "The Conversation" should be the last book written about black relationships. It covers all of the topics, the discussions, and the tools needed for readers to move forward in this area, no longer held back by historical, social, and cultural restrictions, perceived or actual. Released in September of 2009, Harper's third book focuses on "How Black Men and Women can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships" and has the potential to be the definitive word on black love. Using personal experiences, candid interviews and discussions with his friends and associates, and modern references like the Obamas, the dangers of 'technological' communication, and even Steve Harvey's recent relationship book, Harper presents a relevant and timely discussion on "the breakdown of African-American relationships." His purpose: to encourage conversation, to present various perspectives, and to encourage black men and women to work towards building a legacy of family and tradition, rather than publicly and personally destroying the bonds between one another. Some of the enlightening chapters include: •What We Say, Mean, and Do •What Brothers Want •Will Mr. Right Please Stand Up? •Checking Baggage •Eros Vs. Sex/Lust Vs. Love - "Some women think men should read their minds and decipher what they really mean. Alternatively, they give the answer society or their mother told them was the proper answer, though it may not be their truth at all...For women, the issue of finding a healthy balance between all that is expected of her can be a tiring lifelong quest..." •Cheating •Dating With Kids •Anger, Forgiveness, and Learning to Let Go •Man Up -"We as Black men rarely hold other men accountable when we clearly see that they are not living up to their responsibilities with the women they are dating or married to and, even worse, with the children they have fathered..." This book is great, because it echoes the current concerns of men and women from a variety of circumstances. While there are universal truths that can be applied to relationships of any race, the historical and specific references to African-American issues is encouraging. Harper understands the issues, and is able to address them directly. As his friend Brad states in the book: "I think the Black family has been shredded for a couple reasons. The last forty years have been filled with fatherless households and women struggling to take care of their children. As a young girl, if your mother (who probably resents your father for not being there) continuously tells you, "You don't need a man for anything. Provide for yourself! Take care of yourself. Look at me...I'm doing it, and we are fine," at some point, that girl will begin to believe this. Then, that same young girl probably will not have the luxury of seeing her mom have a healthy relationship with a man. So, how is she supposed to know how to interact with men? On the flip side, in these same households, most young Black boys don't have male figures to teach them how to be men or how to treat women. What happens when this young girl and this young boy meet up when they are grown? Exactly what is going on now...you have two people who don't know how to deal with each other..." (pg 57-58) At the age of 43, Harper's career in the entertainment business has allowed readers to grow and trust the familiar face that has appeared on classic Spike Lee movies "Get on the Bus" (96) and "He Got Game" (98), and as well as other favourites "In Too Deep" (99) and "Lackawanna Blues" (05). His television work has ranged from appearances on Married With Children and The Sopranos to his current role as Dr. Sheldon Hawkes on CSI: NY. Harper has received recognition from the NAACP Image Awards as "Outstanding Actor in a Drama Series" for CSI: NY in both 2008 and 2009. His strengths as an actor are numerous, but his academic background and achievements in writing foreshadow the contributions we can expect to see Harper make in popular culture, academia, and maybe even politcs one day. The son of a psychiatrist (father) and anesthesiologist (mother), Harper has a B.A. from Brown University, a J.D. from Harvard Law School, as well as a Master of Public Adminstration from Harvard's Kennedy School of Government. Just this year, he was awarded an Honorary Doctorate from Westfield State College. Hill Harper has been dedicated to uplifting and educating young people, as evidenced by his previous books: American Library Association award-winning "Letters to a Young Brother: MANifest Your Destiny" and New York Times bestseller "Letters to a Young Sister: DeFINE Your Destiny." He has a gift for communicating relevant, powerful, and progressive messages through his texts. We can expect to see more of this brother in the future; he is well-equipped and on his way to becoming one of the great black minds of this generation.