Reviews for How to Stop a Stalker

The average rating for How to Stop a Stalker based on 2 reviews is 4 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2013-02-06 00:00:00 David Berges This book is excellent and the author makes it very entertaining. He is a retired police detective who specialized in working on stalking cases as soon as California created a stalking law in 1991. I read this book because I had a restraining order on a stalker, and another girl had a restraining order on him as well. One similarity of our stalking experiences was she and I both only went on one first date with him and were stalked by him afterwards. I won't go into the details of everything, because they are pretty bad, but one of the things my stalker did was punch the wall in court. His level of hate for me terrifies me and that's one of the things that made me buy this book. I also wanted to learn as much about the topic of stalking as I can to prevent it from happening to me a second time. Don't mistake stalking for being romantic, it is not. Stalkers are initally warm and kind to but turn hateful the moment you tell them you don't want to go on a second date with them(or even first date, some stalkers prefer to stalk in the shadows and their victim doesn't even know who they are!) They will do everything they can to make you terrified of them. They will try to force gifts on you. They will harass your parents. They will say very threatening things towards you that can be direct threats or indirect threats. For example, "You and I are going to f***," "You will regret ever hurting me, and you'll never forget it," or thinly veiled threats such as, "I hope you die," followed by, "I'm thinking about killing myself." Stalkers will show you their vulnerable side, beg you to forgive them and to talk to them again, but it's only to ensnare you. Don't try to help a stalker, it's important to realize that you can't help them. Their problems are too complex, and you aren't the person to help them. Only a family member, close friend, or a therapist could. Stalkers become obsessed with hurting you and getting revenge on you, and will spend large amounts of time coming up with their vindictive plans. This is why I think you should get a restraining order if you ever have a stalker, because if not, things will most likely escalate with your stalker until you do have to get a restraining order.

Review # 2 was written on 2009-12-27 00:00:00 Liat Blumberger How to Stop a Stalker / 1-59102-091-3 My edition of this book was published in 2003, and I don't believe there is a more recent edition currently available. So keep in mind that a lot has changed in the realm of online stalking since this book was published - changes that I certainly don't fault this book for failing to predict and account for. Having said that, if you're buying this book to gain insight on how to protect from online stalking, you'll find very little here - the three cyber-stalking cases presented here are of the "meet online and then in person" variety. There is little to no discussion of the non-physical, yet still destructive, types of cyber-stalking and cyber-harassment; again, not the book's fault, but if that's the information you need, this book won't supply it. As far as old-fashioned physical proximity stalking goes, this book definitely does deliver on the safety and vigilance tips. The section on home security alone is deeply comprehensive, and I strongly recommend it for anyone - even if you aren't being stalked physically, there's a lot of good home defense information here that you may never have thought about. (For instance, how sturdy is your front door?) If there's anything I dislike about this book, it would be the overall tone and presentation. The author has a very snitty tone and seems to think very highly of himself - there's a certain tone of "what was this idiot thinking?!?" in some of the anecdotes that didn't sit well with me. I'm firmly of the belief that authors should be able to write however they please, but considering that many of the target audience for this book will be victims or intended victims of stalkers, it seems a little cold (and potentially triggering) to berate victims for being too trusting. For that matter, the author gives a few too many details, in my opinion, in his anecdotes - when describing how a woman met up with an internet stalker and was attacked, why not just leave it that she was assaulted? It seems...strange, somehow, that the author is so careful to detail how many times she was raped, or which of her teeth were knocked out (and forced to swallow!, he adds). What's the point of that? Again, it's triggering and seems to focus less on "how to stop a stalker" and more on "there's a lot of scary people out there, and you need me to protect you". If you can get past the horrific anecdotes and their strangely specific level of detail, this is a useful book on home security and physical vigilance. It's a niche book, and it could have been written better (and more tightly edited), but if you have the need, this book will help. ~ Ana Mardoll