Reviews for The Parenting Breakthrough: A Real-Life Plan to Teach Your Kids How to Work, Save Money, and Be Truly Independent

The average rating for The Parenting Breakthrough: A Real-Life Plan to Teach Your Kids How to Work, Save Money, and Be Truly Independent based on 2 reviews is 3.5 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2013-11-19 00:00:00 Jeffrey Slade **Update: I emailed my concerns about this book to Deseret Book's publishing department. Lisa Mangum responded to me saying that she has spent some time with my email and the book and has marked places where the book needs to be changed if there is ever a reprint. My preference was to have the book removed from shelves until a suitble revision was made, but I guess I'm happy that Dereret Book took my concerns seriously. I've heard about this book from several people, and I'm just now getting around to reading it because my four-year-old was asking to earn money. I like Sister Boyack's philosophy in general. It's important to teach your kids to be independent, stop bailing them out, allow them to make their own choices, and allow them to do things for themselves that they are capable of doing. I agree that we have a generational problem of young adults not knowing how to be self-sufficient. There are a lot of really great ideas in this book that I am using, and I'll want to refer to it again when my children are older (before I set up the "Harman Bank", for example). With that said, I take issue with a few points in the book. This is the longest review I've written, but I feel like all this must be said. I've even trimmed it down! (Maybe I should stick to fiction books--or at least books on topics I know nothing about--so I don't feel obligated to give a thorough critique). First of all, there are many great parents out there'granted, they are not teaching their children about mutual funds, but they are great anyway'who have children who do not grow up to follow the path of productivity, independence, and/or righteousness. And it's not always the fault of parents. Case in point: Lehi. I don't think Sister Boyack was as sympathetic to this issue as she could have been. It's a dangerous place for parents to take all the credit for their children's successes, as parents will be set up to take the blame for all their children's failures. Children also have their own personalities, desires, and agency. My suggestion: Parents must do their best and leave the rest to their children and God. I could be wrong about Sister Boyack's beliefs in this regard, but her tone comes across as'dare I say it?'prideful. Secondly, I take issue with Sister Boyack's "rant" on modesty, page 86. I'm disturbed that Sister Boyack proudly publishes that her sons call immodestly dressed girls "skanky" and "disgusting". In my humble opinion, this isn't the best way to teach your children to follow Christ and "judge not that ye be not judged". I agree that parents can do more to encourage their children to dress modestly, but calling them skanks? Seriously? Shaming people into obedience rarely works. I have half a mind to write the publisher, Deseret Book, on this issue. Surely this harsh view of immodestly dressed young women should not be published by a company that is widely seen as representing the Christian views of the LDS Church (even though Deseret Book is separate from the Church and doesn't technically represent Church teachings). After all, Deseret Book took a book from the Twilight series off the shelves for content that was contrary to church teachings, no? Thirdly, Sister Boyack uses the argument that financial problems are the number one cause of divorce throughout her book. Except she never cites where this statistic came from! She alludes that her sons' marriages will not end in divorce because they know the value of hard work and saving money. (I know plenty of hard-working, wealthy men who are divorced.) The cause for divorce is very complicated and the conclusion that financial problems are the primary cause for divorce is not accurate. If this were the case, my only solution for marital problems as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist would be to teach couples how to budget and invest. Obviously, this is not even remotely part of what I do! There are many philosophies about how to help married couples stay together, and solving financial problems isn't even close to the top idea among marriage experts. To cite my sources, check out any book by marriage experts Dr. John Gottman, or Dr. Susan Johnson, or Dr. Bill Doherty, or even Dr. David Schnarch. That will give you a good start. Sister Boyack is simply perpetuating a social myth to back up her parenting philosophy. Again, I have a problem with Deseret Book publishing this. Why is Deseret Book not requiring an author to cite her sources??? They're big enough they should know about this, right? Honestly, I put this mistake mostly on the publisher. I doubt Sister Boyack understood the fallacy of this idea. Later in the book Sister Boyack tells a story about how setting goals will earn you more money. At least this one she admits that might just be a myth. At the same time, wouldn't you think an author would want to research that out a little bit before publishing? My last beef is on page 195 where Sister Boyack says that she doesn't think child psychologists are true "experts" on parenting because they have careers instead of child-rearing. First of all, that's a huge assumption that all child psychologists have never spent any time at home parenting. I left a career as a therapist to stay home with my children full-time, and someday I plan on returning to my career in family therapy. And would you really say that just because a father has a career as a child psychologist that he has no experience raising his own children? That's offensive to full-time and part-time working parents everywhere! Secondly, years of extra training in school, supervision, years of experience working with families, and sometimes continued research certainly DOES qualify most mental health professionals in the area of parenting! I understand that not all therapists/psychologists/counselors are good at what they do, but that's the case in all walks of life. I have a fear that Sister Boyack's flippant comment about psychologists not being "experts" will stigmatize the necessary field of mental health further. Some children really ought to be evaluated by a professional for mental health issues or learning disabilities. Parents should not be afraid to reach out for professional help with their children. They should not have to feel helpless when advice from grandparents and Relief Society sisters doesn't work. By the way, I would love to chat with Sister Boyack about her experiences with mental health professionals I might have to stalk her at BYU Education Week…. In the end, take this book for what it's worth. It's another perspective on parenting, but it's not the only "right" way. And please understand this is just Sister Boyack's opinion. Judging from the well-worn copy I borrowed from the library, I'm nervous that parents are taking this book more seriously than it ought to be. At the very least, this book should be revised to exclude the ridiculous parts and include more citations. If you read my whole review, congratulations! I'm open to hearing other opinions about this book. :)

Review # 2 was written on 2008-03-13 00:00:00 Charles Patrick I read this after reading Cleaning House: A Mom's Twelve-Month Experiment to Rid Her Home of Youth Entitlement, by Kay Wills Wyma, and there is no comparison. Ms Wyma is a privileged mother raising privileged kids. She's trying to raise kids who are less handicapped by their privilege, but it's striking, nonetheless. Ms Boyack presents a plan and set of principles that will raise truly prepared and independent people. I'm thinking about buying the book, and for those of you who know my library habits, that's striking, too. haha Takeaway message: teaching your kids to do chores and handle money is entirely for their benefit. It's nice to have helpers with the dishes and all, but to deny them experiences in not only everyday home maintenance, as well as problem-solving and financial prowess is a true handicap.