Reviews for Not Like Other Boys : Growing up Gay: Mother and Son Look Back

The average rating for Not Like Other Boys : Growing up Gay: Mother and Son Look Back based on 2 reviews is 4 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2015-07-26 00:00:00 Daniel Hilger The dual authorship - toggling back and forth between the son and mother's versions of their lives growing up as/with a gay son might strike some as disruptive or overly constructed, but it provides a depth of emotional experience that hearing either side of the story alone would not provide. The boy, from early years, felt there must be something different about him, some flaw that must be obvious to all around him that kept him from fitting into the preordained all-american-boy model. As he realizes that a sexual attraction to other boys is at the heart of his "problem", his concern and confusion are retrained to fear of exposure and self-hatred. At the same time, his mother, suspecting that her son might be homosexual and seeking "expert" advice on preventing this, at the same time largely buries or hides her concern and carries on, through denial, her Ozzie and Harriet suburban life. Moving from the 70s, through the 80s to the 90s, some semblance of acceptance for gays develops. The boy becomes a man, closeted but over time more self-accepting and eventually "comes out" to his mother, siblings and mercurial father. None reject or ostracize him, though surprisingly only his mother had the slightest suspicion. Their reactions, and the obvious love and support his mother and siblings provide are the most heart-warming and affecting moments in the book. After so many years of fearing their rejection and condemnation, Chris is released from the chains of secrecy, though still choosing to remain largely closeted. The grudging "as long as it's not obvious" acceptance from his father suggests the larger societal ambivalence still prevalent at that time (and despite the public approval for gay marriage, even today). One of the consequences of his "coming out" was the loss of his closest friends and his "second family", who go from an open-door policy to not wanting 'someone like him, swimming in our pool". The book may be a bit outdated, but still provides a thoughtful, honest look into the personal side of what may seem to many as more of a political issue. Hopefully, a time will come when growing up gay won't be something to write about, because it will gain the normality of acceptance. For now, this book may help someone realize they are not alone, not lacking or deviant. Maybe it can help some parent see that their child is a unique and wonderful person, who need only the understanding love and respect that every child should have.

Review # 2 was written on 2007-09-08 00:00:00 Ted Cairo The account of son and mother looking over the past; insightful