Reviews for Lysistrata

The average rating for Lysistrata based on 2 reviews is 2 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2007-06-20 00:00:00 Mitchell Goossen I hate this book because I got arrested on account of it. I was at the University of Texas' Perry Castaneda Library and it got lost amidst the shuffled stack of books which I dumped into my backpack when I left. Exiting the library the sensor went off. Sorry, I forgot to check it out. No big deal, happens all the time. But the Department of Collegiate Fascism, aka the UTPD, are required to file a report. Bored from arresting 19-year-olds for walking down the street half drunk they show up like it's the scene of a hostage crisis. And, unlucky me, it turns out I have a warrant for an unpaid alcohol-possession ticket. Still, no big deal. I can go down to the station and pay it. Fine. But this is the lobby of a large student library and I am surrounded by my fellow students, all of us dutifully studying on a Tuesday night. As such, might I please just walk out to the police car? GET AGAINST THE WALL MOTHERFUCKER! A.J. COVER ME WHILE I SEARCH THIS SCUMBAG! GOTCHA COVERED BUDDY! [Loudly cocks shotgun] NO WEAPONS ON HIS TORSO! NOTHING UP HIS SPHINCTER! NOTHING TIED TO HIS BALLSACK... BUT WAIT, LET ME SQUEEZE HARDER! [Sound of testes being crunched by human fist] OK THIS PERP'S CLEAN! GIT ME MY CUFFS! [Sound of me being viciously shackled] YOU GIT THAT ARM! HELP ME DRAG 'EM OUT TO THE SQUAD CAR! HOLD ON! HE'S MEEKLY PROTESTING! HAND ME MY BLUDGEON! [Egregious violence] YEAH! GIT SOME! GIT SOME! GIT SOME MOTHERFUCKER! YEAH A.J. KICK 'EM SOME MORE! GIT SOME, BITCH! Ok he ain't movin'. [Sound of manacled body being dragged across library lobby, accompanied by the stunned silence of onlookers] Thus ended my experience with Lysistrata. I never got to the ending, although in later years my various girlfriends, in the manner of Ghandi protesting English oppression of the Indian subcontinent, were wont to use "Lysistratan nonaction" to protest my rampant drinking and proneness to random street violence. Not recommended.

Review # 2 was written on 2013-02-04 00:00:00 Laurie Mullen Lysistrata Some Greek men, you'll discover, Being a lesser lover Than a renderer of war, Treat their wives much like a whore. So one day, Lysistrata, Equipped with all the data, Reckoned upon a tactic To withhold love climactic. She aimed to end all conflict With some cohorts she had picked, To flaunt breasts and nothing hide, Though, 'til peace, men were denied. Males came with their pricks erect, Revealed for all to inspect, Still their wives rejected them, Until war they would condemn. So the violence did decrease And the warring tribes made peace, A gently handled magic wand Made sure a double entendre. At play's end, the sun went down On the whole of Athens town And nothing followed after, But the echoes of laughter. Illustration by Norman Lindsay