Reviews for French Women Don't Sleep Alone: Pleasurable Secrets to Finding Love

The average rating for French Women Don't Sleep Alone: Pleasurable Secrets to Finding Love based on 2 reviews is 2.5 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2017-04-15 00:00:00 Jennifer Monk You have a right to be moody. You are ze woman. He is ze man. You are passionate! You have ze problem with that?! Reclaim your right to be a woman, to be moody and capricious and emotional. Life is a whole lot more fun when you're not trying to act sane all the time! There is so much wrong with this terrible, sexist book. I'm desperately trying to find anything good to say about this, let's start with that. I feel like I should apologize to Mireille Guiliano. Even though I gave her last book one star, she's a much better author than Callan and much smarter as well. I didn't know how bad the the-French-are-awesome books could get, apparently. I have a new appreciation for you, Guiliano! THE GOOD: - In fact, we often think of romance, love, and meeting men as some kind of chore or appointment, just as we think of exercise as something we do three days a week at the gym and not something we integrate into our everyday lives. I agree that looking at romance like this is bad. But consider this - if you're looking for a mate, what are you doing? Checking online sites? Calling fifty friends to set up blind dates? Going to singles events or speed dating? This takes a lot more effort and truthfully, it's not much fun. And it's not really very natural. Callan suggests meeting men more organically (my word, not hers) by going to activities, stores, cafés, going to friend-parties, etc. That is a good idea and less stressful than online or speed-dating IMO. - She suggests if you don't have a date, you should still go out - either alone or with friends. This is fun and I support this. Going out with friends is fun; and as for alone, I go to movies and restaurants alone all the time. - I agree with her that casual, fun flirting with no end goal is great. Flirting just to give yourself and the other person a boost is so fun. As long as both of you see it for what it is: light, casual flirtation with no result in mind. - Callan really knows her way around a hyphen, and I admire that. THE BAD: - This is the second 'French' non-fiction book I've read that tells me Americans don't eat rabbit. Americans definitely eat rabbit. People shoot rabbits and eat them, others raise rabbits and eat them. It's strange both these authors are convinced Americans shudder away from rabbit. I was at a place TODAY where they were selling rabbit. Rabbit carcasses. This idea Americans can't stomach rabbit is false. - Think of love as a piece of really good dark chocolate. Don't go for the stuff. Hold out for something fine and good and truly satisfying. These sentences don't even make sense. Metaphorically or literally. No sense. I don't even know what this means. - Not only is Callan a fangirl of France, but this book is basically a regurgitation of Guiliano's book French Women Don't Get Fat: The Secret of Eating for Pleasure. Callan quotes her a lot and a lot of ideas in here are plucked from Guiliano's book. It's obvious Callan likes and admires Guiliano. - Callan shoves a lot of recipes in here for no real reason. This is supposed to be a dating book, not sure why she felt the need to include a dozen or so recipes in here. It's baffling. THE UGLY: - Callan is very sexist. I felt like I was reading All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right. She has some really bad ideas. And then there's the inherent pressure to become intimate, because let's be honest - this is what the American date is all about. You are given three, maybe five dates before you have to either go to bed or bail out. Callan always mentions this. And her 'solution' is to 'trick' men into going on dates where they spend no money, such as going for a walk, bike ride, or a friend-party. ...rather she sees him with a group of friends. And by doing so, a man cannot really expect something from a woman, because he is not paying for an expensive dinner. This way, the pressure is off and a man and woman can simply get to know one another and develop a friendship. A seductive, heated, powerful friendship - until one day they fall into each other's arms and make mad, passionate love! Sigh. There's so much wrong with this. One: No amount of money a man spends on me means I owe him sex. None. He could take me out to dinner eighty times, pay every time, I don't give a fuck. I owe him jackshit other than thanking him. Any man who feels women owe him sex because he spent money on them is an asshole. Are you suggesting snagging an asshole who just can't express his true assholishness simply because you are 'fooling him' into going on dates with you that cost no money? Am I supposed to be happy about 'catching' this asshole?!!!?! Fuck that! Two: friendship between a man and a woman doesn't always carry underlying sexual tension and certainly doesn't mean the two will fall in bed with each other. Where on earth are you getting these ideas? Rom coms? - Callan also has this idea, which she talks about a lot, that if a man truly, really knows you as a person... he will leave you. Men are easily bored, according to Callan. Problem is, the two of you are way past the magical-mystery phase. Remember, he saw you with that nasty cold? He knows about that time you stalked your ex-boyfriend. He's watched you eat a pound of fudge. He knows about the C you got in chemistry. He knows what you look like after a hard night of partying. Honestly, the gig was up long ago. Any man who spends a lot of time with you and really knows you - which, IMO, are requirements for a true, loving relationship - will be bored and disgusted. Therefore, Callan suggests a lot of little games you can play like mysteriously disappearing for an hour and having hobbies you don't tell him about and flirting with other men so he knows you can get another man. Which brings me to another point. - Callan seems to have some bizarre ideas about men. These ideas revolve around men being some kind of superior, mysterious creatures who pick up and put down women on a whim. It's important, she stresses, to keep men pleased, entertained, and curious at all times. She believes the minute a man 'figures you out' he will leave you. Personally, I believe the strongest marriages are between people who are also best friends. Callan strongly disagrees. No man who really knows you will ever love you or stay with you, is her message here. I also want to point out how insidious this message is. Callan thinks females have no value. She's always going on about how you have to do all these things to 'catch' and 'keep' a man. Women are desperate. They need to do these tricks because they need a man. Nothing is worse than being single. But she doesn't see men the same way. Men just go around selecting women, using them, and then discarding them when they are bored - in Callan's picture. It's highly bizarre. You will get tired of how many times Callan talks about pleasing and fascinating men in this book. Everything you do should be with this goal in mind. If you read a book, it's because it will make you seem more interesting to men. Same for going to the cinema. If you go to a café to read and drink coffee - it's not really because you like books or coffee, it's simply to man-hunt. If you do something as simple as go for a walk, you need to dress up. You always need to dress up so men will be interested in you. Going on a walk isn't for your personal pleasure, it's a way to meet men. I just can't stomach this kind of thinking. It's sick. - Speaking of going for walks, Callan thinks catcalling is a good thing that is flattering and should be brought back. French women learn at a young age that these attentions are generally harmless and they join in on the male-female mutual admiration society. This woman is so... Has she ever been catcalled? How about catcalled every single day walking down the street!?!? It's horrible. It embarrasses and sexualizes women who are simply trying to get from Point A to Point B. And men who catcall say some disgusting things. Also, they have no cares about how old a female is. You could have horrifying things said to your fourteen-year-old daughter. Catcalling is sexual harassment and it can be/get very ugly. It's scary, it's damaging, and it is extremely disrespectful. Many of us do dress to please men. We smile, we make eye contact, and we use our feminine wiles and still American men politely ignore us. ... Perhaps this is why American women are in such a state of despair. It seems, in training our men to be less sexist, we've drummed the masculine instinct to pursue right out of them. Horrifying on many levels. - Callan also wants to bring back being able to hit on co-workers without fear of sexual harassment charges. While she grudgingly admits there were one or two benefits to the women's movement - like equal pay for equal work (which we are still really struggling with, not solved) - she is sad that men can't hit on women at work anymore. I have enough problems with members of the public thinking they can hit on women in their workplace without having to deal with also fending off my boss and my male co-workers. I thank the women's movement every day for giving me resources and options to stop someone who is giving me unwanted sexual attention at work. It's bizarre to me that she wants to turn back the clock on this. This whole book is bizarre, actually. - Speaking of how bizarre her ideas about catcalling and workplace 'flirting' are, I want to point out that Callan comes off as extremely... naive or perhaps sheltered here. Definitely disconnected from reality. I'm rather surprised, since she was married, got divorced, and re-married. After all that I'd thought she'd be a little more... aware. But she is blissfully ignorant, deeply confused about men and women and what 'being male' or 'being female' means, and seemingly spending her life wishing we lived in the 1940s and 1950s again. Her ideas about French women are also not based in reality. She seems to think that French women are these perfect creatures who 'control' their men with their innate sexiness talents that have been taught to them from birth. She has a very low opinion of Americans. This is strange, since she is an American. But she is always talking about how awful and deficient Americans are. In America, we have this either/or problem. Either we're smart and plain or beautiful and dumb. Either we're sexy, happening, hot-to-trot babes out on the town looking for love - or we're over-the-hill, old-maid librarians who are staying home with a good book and our three Abyssian cats. I honestly have no idea where she got this from. It doesn't reflect reality at all. The French believe that being smart IS sexy. They don't hide their brains the way we often do in America. The French just don't fall for the 'dumb blonde' thing. Their blondes - Catherine Deneuve, for instance - are both brainy and beautiful. So insulting on so many levels. Clearly, this is a culture that values education and intelligence. Unlike America, right?! Perhaps it's because the country and culture is so much more mature than America, and the sensibilities are more refined, or at least more complex. This book is basically 207 pages of Callan kissing France's butt, to be honest. As an American woman, it is in your power to be just as seductive, just as charming as a French woman. It's simply a matter of rethinking what is sexy. Oh, golly gee, do you really think I can be sexy like a French lady and stifle all my horrible American-ness?!?!? We all know there are no sexy American ladies in existence, or in the past! Teach me your ways! Oh, wait. You're not even French. You're just an American woman with a hard-on for France. A fangirl. Listen to how French women speak. Their voices are low and soft. They don't smile quite as much as we do. Their laughter is a little more contained. They're seldom boisterous or loud. They never get drunk. They don't act as if they know it all. We get it, American women are horrid abominations, it's no wonder 'they're so miserable' and never do things like fall in love or get married. French women are elegant, American women are butch. It's no wonder they can't get a man! To be feminine is a wonderful thing in France. Femininity is not a dirty word there. Women wear lingerie, perfume, creams, and some natural looking makeup. They will choose clothes that emphasize their femaleness - their breasts, their long legs, their slender waists. Or, occasionally, they will engage in a little gender-bending fashion and wear a newspaper boy's cap and a pair of laceup boots, perhaps an oversized tweed jacket. This dressing up like a boy is playful and only serves to emphasize their femaleness. But American women wearing more masculine attire makes them butch, she tells us earlier in the book. She tells us that French women take dance lessons from a young age, so they are poised and elegant with great posture. But American little girls take soccer. Which makes them unfeminine and unattractive to men. - She always talks about 'training' men to do stuff as if they are dogs. - She also repeats herself so much in this book. You think each chapter is a new topic? Think again. She says the same things over and over and over and over again. This book could easily be half or even one-third the length it is currently. - We've all been there and done that - called up that ex-boyfriend in the middle of the night and when he suggests coming over for a booty call, we've said, "Okay, why not?" because, well, it's just been so long since we've been paid attention to as a woman. We want to feel sexy. We have not all done that. Excuse me. Tl;dr - There's probably a lot more I can go into here, but I'm tired. Reading this book took a long time because sometimes I could just not keep going, I had to put the book down and take a break because Callan was making me so angry. It's hard for me to believe she thought this would be good for an American female audience. Even though she is a self-hating American, she can't expect none of her readers to have any national pride. And unless you think all American women are butch, uncultured, unfeminine slobs who can't keep a man - this is going to rub you the wrong way. Although after Guiliano's books came out, the emulation of French women and the worship of French culture flipped into overdrive. I also think of France as a progressive, forward-moving nation. I don't really understand how and why she is comparing it to 1940s and 1950s America. I think that's a huge warp of some of the cultural differences she's seeing. Her interpretations of what she sees in France seem a bit suspect to me. There are cultural differences between any two countries, and it can be fun to explore them and compare and contrast them. But it's less fun when one country is seen as horrible and pathetic and the other is shown as the paragon of sexiness and elegance. Skip this book.

Review # 2 was written on 2013-01-29 00:00:00 Anne Stericker French women don't date--they dine with mixed group of friends. They maintain "secret gardens" and wear boots with skirts, and know the correct ratio of bra-to-underwear. People keep reviewing this book like it's supposed to be a manual of orthodoxy whereas I'm pretty sure the author meant it as a light, enjoyable read. So just get down and enjoy it people, I mean really really really enjoy. Here's a few extra items I learned in my twenties when I lived in Paris: 1) A ring on your fourth finger is like catnip to French men. They all want to have an affair with a married woman; 2) French men are not age-ist. If you are over 40 go to France. You will be made to feel sexy; 3) A French woman never leaves her home without some thing covering her face. She wears cream the way the rest of the world wears clothing--preemptively; 4) Ditto for scent; 5) Speaking French changes the shape of your buccal musculature. It gives you much more carved features. Even if you don't speak French, spend an hour a day making French sounds. Your face will thank you; 6) Eating good food is better than sex. Period; 7) The French, when they come to your house, will never ask to see your bedroom. They will never use your toilet. (American women pee every fifteen minutes.) They will never get drunk chez toi. (At least not after the age of 16.) 8)I once experienced the otherworldly pleasure of being in a group of six French women talking about sex. They weren't gross or detail oriented or romantic or especially knowledgeable. What they did frequently talk about was "l'abandon" -- losing oneself in "l'acte d'amour". Sensualists beyond belief; ...