Reviews for What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce

The average rating for What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce based on 2 reviews is 5 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2019-02-20 00:00:00 Paige Chandler Extremely comprehensive and filled with important guides -Extremely thorough resource for anyone going through a divorce where children are involved. The authors break down all the different phases of divorce from the point where the husband and wife have made the decision, through second marriages and the handling of blended families. A whole collection of examples are given based on the experience of the authors which appears extensive. Some of the points that the authors make go against the common thinking, but they explain their reasoning for their statements throughout. -It's vital that children are in the loop and given a certain amount of notice before either of the parents move outside of the home. There is a breakdown by age of the child involved, with each separate age grouping being handled differently because those children react differently. Again, reasons for any action that's suggested is given, but the range of issues covered is so extensive and universal, that if someone were to highlight the pertinent parts, they would be highlighting over half the book. -There are so many lessons for every phase of the divorce. For example, in the beginning, the husband or the wife should explain to the children in person as to what's happened to the marriage and explain what that means for the future, in order to reduce the negative impact to the child. The authors go into the feelings of guilt that a child may feel, as it's common for them to blame themselves; their children's actions, especially in the beginning of the divorce, may be with the goal of having the husband and wife reconcile and get back together, and each individual parent should be aware of that; they speak of the anger that may come out, and how certain children actually show no effect whatsoever, but they further explain that those children are just good at hiding and repressing their feelings, but it doesn't mean that those feelings aren't there. -Because of the many players involved when there's a divorce, guidelines are given for how those groups should support the father/ mother that they will be interacting with. Where you would normally think of the father, mother and child(ren) as those involved, there are also the grandparents to the child; there are aunts and uncles; friends & teachers, etc. All of these play a role in dealing with this situation. -Practical legal advice is given, with a number of options presented as to how a couple can separate. (Court; mediation: arbitration) There are benefits and pitfalls with each and the beauty of this book are the full explanations that you get for each decision to be made. (The authors make a point in saying they are not attorneys and obtaining proper legal advice is the responsibility of the divorcing parents.) For someone not familiar with the court system, the explanation of how it works is a God-send. -The authors then include whole sections on post divorce life: What happens if one of the now ex spouses starts to date; Issues that come up when one or both marry; Differences with what is legally in a divorce agreement with what, as a practical matter, actually happens and how to deal with it; the need for constant re-evaluation of the role of the two parents because of the ever changing circumstances with their own lives and the lives of their children, etc. -By the time you reach the end, you'll have received a broad knowledge in the field. Once this knowledge is obtained, the authors note that sometimes the couple realizes that it would be better to delay any plans of separation that they had. Whatever effort they expended before on properly raising their kids, the effort of divorced parents is increased exponentially. A side result of this reading is the realization of how very damaging this is to children of any age, to the point that many children will never be able to be completely healed from their trauma for the rest of their lives.

Review # 2 was written on 2017-09-17 00:00:00 Mark Locaparra Helpful I wish I had read this book before speaking with my kids about our divorce. Should be required reading for any couple considering breaking up.