Reviews for Elegy for Iris

The average rating for Elegy for Iris based on 2 reviews is 4.5 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2018-03-06 00:00:00 Iain Delaney It is one of the best memoirs I have ever read. Maybe this is because it is about the great novelist Iris. It is so beautifully written. One could almost feel the lived life of the couple, and notice that Bayley has shown immense love, reserve, and kindness toward his beloved. It is a certain class of people that emerge in this memoir– writers, students, university professors and so forth. As a reader I almost felt as I were living in some university campus. I liked this environment and its depiction on the page. There is nothing hurried about it. All this alludes to the harmony that Bayley shared with Iris. The memoir also poignantly shows how much Bayley loved her. One sees his genuine love for Irish throughout the book. Even before the Alzheimer gripped Iris, she had lived her life in a certain way. She was secretive about certain aspects of her life. Bayley knew that Iris might be cheating on him, but he accepted her promiscuity. Reading about this aspect of their life, I thought that two people when really come together and establish a true connection, they do not feel threatened by anything else. Emotions like jealousies emerge when one still has doubts about the relationship. When it still feels ecstatic and fragile. Most of us find ourselves between intense love and intense doubt. Only a few arrive at the most ideal stage in which one truly establishes a soulful bond with the other that does not need any external confirmation, nor does it demand ownership of any kind. As one reflects about their relationship, one also thinks about the value of friendship, love, companionship, sickness, isolation, and aging. One cannot help thinking about Iris, the novelist. The autobiographical environment of the memoir also makes me think of Iris' novels, especially the ways in which events, characters unfold, the things they do, how they talk, and what sort of intrigues take place in their everyday lives. Of course, it is Bayley who is writing but he is writing about Iris. So in queer ways, having read a few of her novels, the memoir speaks to me in multiple ways. It helps me to see Iris in spaces where Bayley, probably, cannot go, and I guess he is too kind and thoughtful to comment on what he does not know. It is also interesting to see how they go about the business of living. This may sound cliche but at the end of the day it is the small things that matter in life; biking, walking in the forests, swimming in clear lakes, being in nature, drinking coffee. Only when some disease knocks at the door, small things become significant; even remembering one's name can make us smile and feel proud, walking a few steps, eating a few morsels of food, breathing normally and even calm sleep begin to feel like exquisite luxuries.

Review # 2 was written on 2012-10-02 00:00:00 Kim Mills Description: In this frank memoir, John Bayley describes the life he has shared with his wife, Iris Murdoch, afflicted with Alzheimer's disease. He explains how he has coped emotionally and practically with the illness that has beset the woman he loves and cherishes. Oh! the cruelty of a brain eating disease when the preyed upon had such a fantastic mind to start out with. Also thinking of PTerry and Prunella Scales here.