Reviews for The Bride's Necklace

The average rating for The Bride's Necklace based on 2 reviews is 2 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2018-03-05 00:00:00 Greg Hollenbeck Victoria "Tory" Whiting and her too-beautiful-to-live sister Claire escape the clutches of their evil stepdad and end up employed by the mercy-boners of Cordell "Cord" Easton, Earl of Brant. When he discovers the truth about Tory and Clair, he yells and proposes marriage and has himself some very turgid erections. Then there's a whole thing where he thinks Tory is cheating on him with some dude named Julian Fox which makes him RAGE and FEEL FEELINGS and also makes his boners cry. :( Then there's a confrontation with the evil stepdad, additional stabbings, and the WORST HEA EVER. (1. WORST HEA EVER because even though Tory repeatedly and with great emotion tells Cord that she DID NOT BETRAY HER HUSBAND with the sly Julian Fox, Cord refuses to believe her until his bff Rafe shows up and announces Julian's homosexuality and THEN SUDDENLY HE BELIEVES SHE WAS FAITHFUL. UM EXCUSE ME, DICK, BUT THAT'S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS!! SHOVE IT IN YOUR EAR YOU GODDAMNED SWINE.) 2. That said: this was a soapy romp. Like, it's just ridiculously packed full of nonsensical drama: the missing adopted brother! The bastard friend! The going undercover as a housekeeper! The sex on a boat in route to FRANCE! The jewelry heist! The angsty sex in a closet at a ball! The rescue mission in France! The close-call annulment! The gun standoff that devolves into a SABRE FIGHT in an ABANDONED HOUSE that the HERO IS SECRETLY BUYING FROM THE VILLAIN?? OH YES AND A PREGNANCY!! I kept checking my status and was just gobsmacked every time I realized that I still had so much book left to go! 3. Tory was ... stock heroine. She's just ambitious and "great" and beautiful and the perfect lusty lady for the hero to crave without feeling like a pervert or whatever. I didn't dislike her, but I also didn't really...connect in any great way because she was going to be fine!! OF COURSE SHE WAS!!! She's got SPUNK. 4. Cord was a dick who only knew how to use the brain in his pants. Like, without any real reason he's absolutely convinced that Love is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to a man. It's garbage: he's a REAL MAN and REAL MEN don't do FEELINGS omg. And he's got the whole "If I only pay attention to my lady in the NIGHTTIME, everything will be GREAT because the SUN WILL KILL MY FEELINGS!! VIVA LA BONERS!" and it's absolute horse shit. It's so expected and boring and obnoxious to read about because IT NEVER WORKS FEELINGS ARE LIKE ATHLETE'S FOOT: IF YOU GOT IT IN THE NIGHTTIME, YOU GOT IT IN THE DAYTIME TOO. GTFO. 5. I'm yelling a lot but that's because this book was just patently RIDICULOUS which was kind of wonderful? I couldn't stop reading it and I kind of didn't want to because what kind of nonsense was around the corner OH YES MORE POWERFUL AROUSALS AND DIAMOND-TIPPED BREASTS! JUST WHAT THE DOCTOR ORDERED.

Review # 2 was written on 2019-04-22 00:00:00 Richard Gray [ Yes & an epilogue, but didn't save the story for me (hide spoiler)]