Reviews for How you began

The average rating for How you began based on 2 reviews is 4 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2016-01-14 00:00:00 Thomas Price I have lots of mixed feelings about this book. Half the time, I was nodding my head, thinking, "Good idea," or "that's definitely something I need to cover." The other half, I kept thinking, "What?" and "No way." So, to start, here's the points that I agree with from the book: 1. It is important to talk about sex with your child, and keep an open communication. 2. A good book with some simple drawings might help you explain more of the details. 3. Children need to be warned about pornography, abuse, and other dangers. 4. Sex is an "awesome, beautiful" thing that should be reserved for married people (they use the words "long-term, committed couple" often). 5. Subjects such as masturbation, wet dreams, the changes of puberty, and hormone changes should be discussed with your children. 6. I liked many of their examples and some of the readings to do with the older kids were interesting. The exception was the "marriage roses" story they reference over and over. I just didn't find it a very good illustration of what they were trying to teach. If I, as an adult, found it confusing, then I think a concrete thinking child would be even more confused. And here's what I disagreed with: 1. I think the author's approach is a little too formal; they suggest both husband and wife taking the child out to dinner at age 8 and talking about it at a restaurant. I prefer the calm and peace of my own home for such a sacred subject. I also plan to keep my own discussions more low-key. I also don't know if I think every child should be taught at age 8 just because they have that birthday. I plan to be more flexible about when and how I introduce the topic. 2. I realize the Eyres are approaching the subject for a secular audience, but the main things I want and need to teach my children about sex were never mentioned -- things like the belief that sex is a sacred power given us by God that brings children into the world, and that God has prepared it as a wonderful way for a husband and wife to express affection and in scriptural terms "to become one." The fact that we need to be clean and worthy to fulfill our missions in life, and that learning to control our thoughts and actions in regards to sexuality is an important part of that. 3. I don't like their approach to the topic of chastity -- it's all about "waiting for the right time because then it will be so special and awesome," which is one aspect of it, rather than the simple fact that God has commanded that the powers of procreation are to be used only between husband and wife and the problems that happen when people are intimate before marriage. I realize they wrote the book to appeal to a secular audience, but I think it is wrong to leave out all mention of the spiritual. 4. I really disagreed with some of their dialogue. One thing they suggest telling your child is that since you sometimes "can't" stop thinking about sex, then you should channel those thoughts towards having sex one day with your future spouse. I think it is a travesty to teach a child that they aren't in control of their thoughts. I think a better approach is to tell them that it is very difficult to control your thoughts, and they sometimes will make mistakes, but that it is a sign of maturity when someone is in control of where his mind goes. Then it would be good to suggest ways to better control your thoughts. 5. I was particularly shocked by this attitude in regards to masturbation. The authors recommend this dialogue: "Don't try to stop yourself from thinking about sex because you can't. But when sex comes to your mind, think about how beautiful and awesome it can be with the beautiful and special wife you'll have someday. . . If you try to do this, you won't feel like masturbating as often, and when you do, at least you'll be thinking about the best kind of sex that will happen someday with your wife. Thinking this way will help you want to save yourself for her!" 6. I find the book they recommend, Where Did I Come From, to teach about sex very irreverent (ugly naked cartoon people, including "mommy and daddy" in a bathtub and under the covers making love, and sperm dressed in top hats). I also find some if it's descriptions just plain TMI. I don't think it's a good thing to describe orgasms to an 8-year-old or to compare them to a sneeze. I think a bit less info about the mechanics and a bit more info about the biology, including accurate, respectful drawings would be much better. I checked out lots of books and found the one I like the best to be "The Miracle of Life." There are way too many words in it, so I wouldn't recommend reading it or having your child read it, but the drawings are a great way to explain the miracle that sex and life are. 8. This book is very much about the method of teaching sex to children, not the principles behind it. I think the method the Eyres used is a good one, but it is not a method I will be using. Overall, I'm glad I read this book because it gave me a lot to think about and many examples of ways I could approach this subject with my children. I'm working to prepare my own way of teaching it, one that includes the spiritual aspects of it.

Review # 2 was written on 2012-10-28 00:00:00 Christopher Counts I bought this to help me approach talking to my kids. Here are some of my thoughts... 1. While the Eyres teach that at 8 children should have the talk, and I agree it should be earlier than we probably expect, I still believe that you need to closely evaluate the child and discuss sex when the child is ready from your parental perspective. My oldest was not ready at 8. We will evaluate the others as they approach that age. An approx. 8 is a good starting point for the talk in my opinion. 2. I loved the Eyres view on many things but a public place is not a conductive place for a child to have the talk. Do it home, where distractions are less and a child can ask questions without worrying what others will hear. I would be upset if we overheard someone giving the talk while I was trying to enjoy dinner with my family. Give it at home and then go to dinner and do something fun. 3. I could have figured much of this out on my own but I liked how this book got me really thinking about the message I want my kids to hear, and the emphasis that we need to keep addressing it, especially as stages in their lives change. I love the Eyres stance on waiting until marriage and I am even more forward in teaching that it is only under that union in which those powers are used. 4.I also like how they are positive about it, not something to be uncomfortable with. It is beautiful although I did get a little sick of Eyres calling it the great, wonderful amazing thing or whatever it was. We told our child they were having "the Talk" that was enough. Some kids may not feel it's a great and wonderful, beautiful, amazing thing at that age and that is okay, they shouldn't feel like we are pushing them too much. 5. We are really open and have been able to talk about lots of things with our kids and so they feel pretty comfortable to talk about things, knowing we will answer with honesty and openness, even if that answer is, "we will talk about that in awhile when we think you can understand that better". I like how the Eyres point out to lead up to the talk with little hints. Teaching about how beautiful our bodies are (which is something we do anyway). But I don't think you need to lead into things, I think as they naturally are approached by children we can guide them. 6. I did not like the book recommendations to teach or show the child. I didn't purchase or check out any of them but I think an anatomy picture of men and women and a verbal description is enough. Children don't have to have hard copy pictures of parents in bed to see for them to understand.