Reviews for Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

The average rating for Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew based on 2 reviews is 1 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2008-05-31 00:00:00 Roberta Gibson I read this book because I was hoping it might address what I consider to be some of the major misconceptions existing about adoptees. I was sorely disappointed. Not only does it hold to those misconceptions but I think if a potential adoptive parent were to read this book it would serve only to put unnecessary and intense fear in their heart. It's premise is that every adoptee is a deeply wounded and permanently damaged individual who will never feel whole. If the adoptee appears maladjusted it is due to the trauma of being "abandoned" by his or her birthmother. If the adoptee seems well-adjusted he or she is merely compensating for the loss in the hopes that good behavior will bring back the longed for birthparent. Absolute hogwash. The only value this book has is the advice for adoptive parents to cultivate a climate in which the adoptee feels free to discuss whatever feelings they have regarding their adoption and to answer questions honestly and lovingly. However, I cannot recommend this book to anyone because the balance of it I believe is far to skewed to be of any real benefit (except perhaps in dealing with a person who is deeply traumatized due to a history of abuse or some other very obvious problem). In fact, i believe this book would cause more problems that it would remedy in all but extreme cases. It's for that reason that I will post this negative review as a warning to folks who are seeking think this book will debunk myths and believe this author speaks well for the adoptee's experience.

Review # 2 was written on 2011-08-28 00:00:00 Larry Deville From the moment I finished the first chapter, I knew there was something I just didn't like about this book. However, wanting to be an informed soon-to-be adoptive mom, I was determined to finish with the hopes that my opinion would change as I learned this author's style. I'm sorry to say that this book left me with the same negative feelings I started it with. This book was full of fear inducing negativity. I believe all of the issues Eldridge brought up can be very real for some adoptees; however, she seemed to write this book while carrying some very deep emotional baggage. The generalizations made seemed to say that all adoptees will have these issues and there isn't a way around them. The information within is very good and definitely necessary to understanding the adopted child.....BUT it should be written by someone who is not so bitter toward being adopted. There are excellent books out there that address the same issues, but also give adoptive parents positive insight into how to best deal with these issues.