Reviews for Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem

The average rating for Fatherless America: Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem based on 2 reviews is 5 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2012-09-01 00:00:00 Andrew James This book has been on my radar for years, ever since it was cited by Jeffery R. Holland in an important address given some time ago. I wish I had read it earlier. I wish everyone would read it. Each time I hear of another couple with children breaking up, I can't help but feel sorrow for the short-sighted decisions of one (or two) adults who are all too willing to disrupt their children's well being for a lifetime because of their own wants and needs. In sobering detail, David Blankenhorn documents the undoing of the time-honored role of fathers in contemporary society to the point where "experts" now advocate for other models of fatherhood, and even redefining the term father itself. What a legacy the feminist movement and its resulting divorce culture have left us with families and society increasingly in shambles. In a very calm tone, the author methodically cites study after study demonstrating statistically worse outcomes for children raised in fatherless homes, particularly those whose mothers are divorced, living with boyfriends, or who have chosen motherhood absent any father at all (through artificial insemination, one-night-stands, single-parent adoption, etc.). And he does so by quoting the outlandish ideas and philosophies of "leading experts," people with PhDs who believe that their learning also makes them wise, who advocate for "mix 'n max parenthood," androgynous parenting (men becoming more like women and vice versa), and otherwise demonizing and relegating masculinity and manhood to the bygone ages of barbarism. Hollywood and contemporary culture celebrate the "modern family" and for decades now society's focus has been on improving methods for getting out of marriage ("better divorce"), not preserving it, and we place a premium on child-support payments and alternative father figures while ignoring that what children really want and need are their fathers. The author offers interesting perspective about this phenomenon being deeply rooted in the core ideals of America at its foundation, which itself was a divorce from Great Britain and monarchical rule. The American ideal prizes the rights and freedoms of the individual. But like anything taken to an excess, idolizing the power of one, unfettered, can leave many more damaged in the wake. In an age where we worship individualism and the right of two spouses (even now "mix 'n match" spouses where mothers and fathers are both expendable) to part paths and "find happiness again" and fulfillment in new relationships, in an age where we value emasculated men and "empowered" women who deny the undeniable reality of complementarity that each sex brings to relationships and parenting, too often we do so at the expense of children, and at our own peril. Children do not need more nurturing, school curriculums, books and other media affirming their plight as children without parentage, teaching them that they have "many fathers," or that some families don't have fathers at all, and telling them "they are all right," and that it's all okay. The author clearly points out that such wishful thinking does nothing more than impose adult fantasy on children and minimize the child's reality which does not change. This book is a sad reminder that now, 18 years after it was written, we live in an even braver new world where the adult's wants are valued far above what is best for children, and where the prevailing message is that "it's all good" despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. What children really want is their fathers. What children really need is their fathers.

Review # 2 was written on 2012-01-11 00:00:00 Marc Ferm Full of truth and creepy in its observations of 1995 America that hits home with even stronger resonance today, Blankenhorn asks, "Where are all the fathers?" and proceeds to answer that question by first showing us the history of the American family before listing examples and definitions of seven "father-types" that emerged as a result of the women's rights movements. Viewing this list, it's pretty obvious why so many American women are flocking to the "Twilight" movies. America is not just yearning for more fathers, we are getting DESPERATE! The old "Life Script" just isn't being followed anymore as the following list shows: 1. The Unnecessary Father-The "new idea" that American men are no longer a requirement in American families and for single mothers having a father for the kids is "important...but not that important". 2. The Old Father-aka "Father Knows Best" our own Grandfathers come to mind when we think of this man. The old school male: strong, silent, dominering 1950's patriarchy that America is now yearning for. 3. The New Father-I can't help but think of gay men because this is the father who takes on the traditional feminine roles of changing diapers and doing the laundry while his wife brings home the bacon. Blankenhorn admits this father is good but even in 1995 the idea just wasn't taking off. By 2012 no one's even talking about this guy anymore. 4. The Deadbeat Dad-Wham bam, thank you Ma'am. He came, he impregnated, she couldn't stand him, so he left. Single mom's only regret is that she had a relationship with him. My only gripe with this book is the word "pornography" is never used, not once. 5. The Visting Father-Here's my stepdad. He tries to maintain a relationship with his kids. He works hard. He pays his child support faithfully, but something went horribly wrong in our divorce culture of the 80's and 90's. By 2012, America is still paying the price. 6. The Sperm Father-Sperm banks were still a new idea in the 90's but by the 21st century no one thinks twice about a woman who choses to raise a child alone. No one questions the child's paternity. Sperm father is now the cousin of The Deadbeat Dad. 7. The Stepfather and The Nearby Guy-Blankenhorn should've also added "boyfriend" as that's the life script so many American women are chosing today but it doesn't matter, both men fail to fill the shoes of father figure-blood will always be thicker than water. This chapter hit particularly close to home for me as my own stepfather has always been a stranger to me, we've never been close, I've tried, but the poor man just can't be a father to children that are not his own. Congratulations to all the second marriages out there that have managed to make it work but its hard. As for The Nearby Guy, as long as the single mother has someone, anyone, to fill the shoes of father figure, it's a hopeless situation and in the 21st century of rampant child pornography and domestic abuse it's pretty obvious that more men, not boyfriends, are needed who are committed to getting married and STAYING married to the women who are lowering their standards. Nobody wins. That's the main message of this book. Poignant almost to a fault but these are issues that need to be brought to light. Bottom line-America needs more fathers for its women and children, not boyfriends or nearby guys. America needs a return to the "Good Family Man". Mitt Romney comes to mind. This is an important groundbreaking book. Read it and pass it on.