Reviews for As A Gentleman Would Say

The average rating for As A Gentleman Would Say based on 2 reviews is 3 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2011-05-22 00:00:00 Lana T. Albright Great little book with pragmatic advice to verbally jiu-jitsu your way through some awkward moments in life. -a gentleman does not interrupt ever. -a gentleman is slow to judge others -say congratulations to groom, say best wishes to bride -a gentleman dies not raise his voice -a gentleman never says sorry unless he has given offense -don't fluff around w "I don't mean to embarrass you but..." -don't ask someone's age -if you call someone it is up to you to finish convo -don't answer phone at table or in front of guests you are entertaining -to decline an invitation already accepted: tell them asap, frank reason, apology -accept the first invitation offered, don't weigh up offers. Also don't reject offers to do fun things -dont argue over petty matters. Only argue if there is a dangerous situation. Respect others beliefs and opinions. Do not correct them to your own opinions or actions, yet set an example to others -personalize, general comment, question e.g. "I haven't heard that movie. It has an interesting title though. What's it about?" -"what do you think?" Is ace! Other small questions are better than personalising -do not brag. -avoid "I told you so" -shake hands and introduce yourself -no rumours -hygiene, cleanliness -please and thank you -listen well -don't respond to insults. Be silent -do not respond literally to the question "hi. How are you?" People aren't after a response of more than "fine how about you?" Its just a way to open convo. -if there is an obvious change in a person like plastic surgery or weight loss, be general "hello Bob, you're looking great.". if weight loss can mention how fabulous the clothes look. -if its the opposite and they look worse say "hello Bob, its great to see you." Do not mention the deformity, weight gain or ugliness -if friend is terminally I'll: "hi Bob, how are you doing?" Then "hey let's keep on touch, I want to hear how things are going" -And if friend is fired "I've heard you've left the bank. How are things going?" If these friends choose to disclose more info "that sounds really really tough. You're a bright guy, Bob. Once you're over this hurdle, an opportunity will arise, I know." If winning or losing in a game, say: "bad luck/congratulations, you guys really played a great game" do not be a sore loser -never assume people have malevolent motivation. Always expect people to be benevolent towards you, and be indifferent when they are not. -if invited to wedding of ex "I'm happy for her and wish her all the best" -"you're a lucky mummy and daddy" -if friends are getting married and you think its a bad idea "that's great news. Have u set a date?" Never reveal that you disapprove if it is good news among others -see a friend cheating on his wife at dinner "hi Bob, how's your dinner?" Introduce yourself as normal to the guest if the friend has not done this -if someone tries to get you involved there personal messy issues "you're my friend, Bob, but this is something you'll need to work out for yourself" he died not gossip, or take sides -when friends are trying for a baby "good luck. I'll be looking forward to the blessed event" -shit news "I'm sorry to hear that. Are you doing okay?" -ensure you and your guest decide what to order before the waiter comes so you can tell your guest unapologetically if what they are ordering is beyond your budget e.g. let's go for a wine that's more on my budget. -poor service: "we seem to be having a problem here, would you point out the manager for me, please?" -"you might want to use your napkin. You have something stuck in your teeth." -support and encourage your friends with their efforts for self improvement "good luck. I really admire your willpower." -your friend is rude/inappropriate: dont say anything out loud, take them aside privately and suggest that they change their behavior w a gentle rebuke. Do not embarrass this person in front of others or apologies for their behavior. -when a friend is promoted: "congratulations Bob, I'm here to help out with whatever you need" -"I wish I had time to continue our conversation but (excuse). Now what was the point you wanted to make?" -when someone has bad breath. "Would you like a breath mint?" -a friend confides in you a secret or something private and complicated "thank you for telling me this. If I can help in any way please let me know" -"thanks for asking but Bob and I hardly know each other at all." -don't say anything if late, but apologize later -quit job "I know that had to be a tough decision, but I know you had to do what was right for you." -inappropriate jokes "guys, jokes like that are not funny. Isn't there something else we could laugh at?" -asked to do something bad like lying "no. I'm afraid I can't do that." -call people that aren't friends by Mr and ms -rejected "I understand. Maybe we can do something together some other time." -when someone trying to set you up "can you tell me a little bit about her, maybe some of her interests?" -rejecting girls' advances "I think you are a very nice person but I'm not interested in our having a romantic relationship." -its bad manners to eat from someone else's plate, say "I'd you'd like to sample my food, we'll get the waiter to bring another plate." -"I want us to be married and I hope you feel the same way too." -"sorry I want us to be able to have this conversation but I'm finding it hard to understand you." -don't ever ask someone how old specifically they are -the answer is no to does this look good on me "you always look great in whatever you were but I have to say, the other one is still my favorite." -forgot name "its great seeing you but I can't for the life of me remember your name." -someone's business idea " best of luck, Bob. You have an ambitious plan and it should be an adventure." -a toast: keep it simple - "I'm proud to call you a friend" some fond memories are good, maybe a joke, but do not embarrass him. -complimented "thank you. I appreciate you telling me that." Do not deny the compliment or presume that it was insincere. -don't talk business or debts at a social event, but contact the person the next day "hey mate, seeing you last night reminded me of the money you owe me. I'd appreciate getting it settled soon" -if someone is going through a crisis and they aren't mentioning it to you, don't bring it up, just be friendly as normal. They will tell you if they need your help -offered a drug which I don't take "how about some soft drink? I don't drink alcohol." -bored of conversation "its been nice talking to you, but I think I'd like to refresh my drink. Would you like to walk with me to the bar?" -RSVP asap. Always RSVP, and apologies if u didn't. -asking a girl for a dance: a few simple comments. Then "I really like this song. How about you? Would you like to dance?" -always thank when given a gift even if you don't like it -if a fight is brewing in a respectable location "guys, if you don't both quieten down, I'm going to have to ask you both to leave." -people smoking in your house "Bob you'll find an ashtray out on the verandah for my friends that smoke." -a friend breaks something "Bob are you alright? I hope you didn't cut yourself" -try not to open gifts in front of others but if get a shitty present "thanks so much I've never seen a mug like this before" -"Bob you've had plenty to drink and I'm concerned about your safety. Give me your keys and I'll call you a cab." -"excuse me please, I need to take this call. I'll try to be quick." -when someone tries to bring an uninvited guest "I'd love for you to bring Bob, but I'm afraid we only have room for 8 at the table." -change convo topics "this might not be exactly on the subject, but your comment reminds me of something I read the other day" -intros - older to younger, if same age, girl to guy e.g. "Barbara, this is my good friend Bob Smith. Bob, this is Barbara Samson." Can add a little quip to promote conversation "Bob is a friend of mine that I met in Canada." "Its awfully nice to meet you, bob" -starting conversation - noncontroversial topics first "it's great to be able to meet together like this. Good on the host for organizing it" ask a few questions to get the ball rolling, then onto more broad topics like sport, current affairs, local happenings, but he is still testing the waters. Later he can start opening up to talk about the party itself, the stock market crash, interesting topics. -ending a convo on telephone "it's been good talking to you, Bob. I hope we get to talk again soon." -someone is rude, don't insult them but tell them frankly what you want them to do or not do "no thanks. Don't call me again. Good night." -"i don't give out that kind of information" -unwelcome guest arrives "thanks for dropping by Bob, but this is a bad time for me. Give me a call and we'll get together sometime soon." -when people aren't listening to your answer "Bob, I said no. And that's my final answer on the subject." -thank people for presents with a little message later on. "It was kind of you to think of me." -when rejecting somebody's request from you it is good to say no "it is one of my private rules." -death of a loved one of a coworker "I am sorry to hear about your uncle. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help you get back into the swing of things." Don't try to compare experiences. Just ask them if there is any way you can help them recover. Don't try to find the positives in the situation. Keep it short and simple "I am sorry for your loss. I've been thinking about you and your family." "You are in my thoughts/prayers." This approach is appropriate even for pets "I'm sorry to hear about fluffy. I know she meant a lot to you" -mate in hospital "thought I'd drop in and give u this book. I enjoyed it and thought you might like it too." Short and upbeat visit. -baby news/photo "gee Bob, you must be so proud." -if a fat girl asks if she is fat "you're a great looking woman. If you've gained a little weight, you've got the style to carry it off." -knocked up "congratulations. You'll make a great mother" -canceling - I'm sorry Bob but I can't make (event). (Excuse) then I'll catch up with you another time. -making an apology "Bob, I'm sorry if I have offended you the other day when I ...(excuse if there is one) -accepting an apology "I appreciate that Bob. I was offended at the time, i admit. let's just move on." -someone reveals something private "Im glad you feel comfortable telling me that." -someone tells you that there child is gay or bad at sports etc "Bob is a great kid. That's what really matters." -thank ppl for backhanded compliments -always accept the first social commitment offered. If declining say "I'm sorry Bob but I won't be able to make it. I've already got a commitment that night." -talking in movies "excuse me, I'm having trouble hearing the movie." Then ask manager then ask for refund -if you happen to be in a heated argument (don't argue over small stuff), and realize later you were wrong, admit your mistake to them personally. -u get mad, apologise later "forgive me for yelling at you, Bob. It was entirely out of line. There was no excuse for my behavior." -if someone took offense to what you said "Bob, I'm afraid I hurt your feelings the other night. Please know I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

Review # 2 was written on 2011-10-23 00:00:00 Lee Breed Very good book for key understanding of enhancing the gentleman in you!