Reviews for Love in a Headscarf

The average rating for Love in a Headscarf based on 2 reviews is 3 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2010-10-31 00:00:00 Royden Lewis Shelina is a thoroughly modern Muslim - a British Indian Muslim. Her ancestors were from India and converted to Islam and moved to Tanzania. When Tanzania was granted independence from Britain, Shelina's father chose to take the offer as a British citizen to move to England. Moving into that environment has caused her family to closely examine which Muslim practices are/were part of their culture, and which were actually a part of Islam. This was the second book I've ever read about Muslim women, the first being Princess: A True Story of Life Behind the Veil in Saudi Arabia, which could not be more DIFFERENT in portrayal of the life of a Muslim woman. I think this, more than anything, solidified my knowledge that Islam is quite wonderful, and all of the ugly atrocities in Muslim nations come from awful cultural traditions than anything the Qu'ran has ever said. Shelina wrote this book about how as a modern Muslim woman, she chose the traditional path of an arranged marriage. When I read the book blurb I thought it would be more crazy tales along the lines of "hijinx ensue, lol". While she did include quite a bit of descriptions in first person voice of her experiences which were funny, much of the rest of the writing was expository. Not in a bad way - I sure do not know a lot about the Muslim faith (I know a little) and I appreciated the explanations. It seemed like those were the driest parts of the book, though. What I do know about the Muslim faith was reaffirmed. It is a loving, peaceful, family-based religion. They adhere to a high standard of strict moral conduct: no drinking, immorality, immodesty, etc. The sanctity of motherhood and children is tantamount and life and society should be built around the traditional family unit. Listening to Shelina describe her standards, you could almost see her living in SLC and being mistaken for a Mormon (although the headscarf would be a dead giveaway). In fact there were so many similarities I was only left to one conclusion: whether you are an American Mormon or a British Muslim, we are all children of the same loving God - whether you call him Allah or Heavenly Father, he has the same standards and laws and loves us all the same. There were times when the similarities were quite striking. When Shelina went on her Hajj - her pilgramage to their sacred Kabaa in Mecca (which they call the house of their God) they all dress in white to remove materialism and individuality - so they all stand before Allah as equal spirits. They then perform symbolic rituals. Hmmmm. There was part of the book she spoke about her spiritual journey. From blind obedience, to actively choosing conversion, to following the letter of the law, to following the spirit of the law, after that there was a little journey into mysticism. I started feeling a little nervous about that part . . . our LDS (Mormon) religion discourages delving into the mysteries of God (as, most assuredly, there is much our human comprehension is not up to the task) and stick to what we have been given as the path back to our Heavenly Father (that after all the good works we can do we still stand sinful and must accept the Savior as our mediator through Grace to gain admittance into Heaven). But the more I thought about it the more I saw the similarities of her journey with ours. In our religion after living the spirit of the law we are most assuredly encouraged to continue on our spiritual journey - one of stiriving to be more like the Savior and to literally develop a personal relationship with Him. This is a deeply personal and intimate spiritual journey that I could equate to that stage in her life. Where she discovered LOVE. God is LOVE. This is a beautiful story of discovery - both self discovery and spiritual discovery. I wanted to end my review with an explanation of my four+star rating. Is the writing such that it's artistic and destined to be a classic in the auto-biographical genre? No. Lively and beautiful at times? yes. Dry and a little slow sometimes? yes. But there was one part of the book where she described her grandmother - her angel grandmother. Her grandmother who married a man of her loving father's choosing, who raised 10 faithful children of her own, and who rises every morning at 3 am for her daily prayer with Allah. I felt this woman's spirituality, her closeness to God. I envied it. What a beautiful example. This woman was geographically, religiously, and generationally apart from me and has inspired me to be a better woman. A better Mormon. A better Daughter of God. And to be inspired in such a manner - well, was rather shocking for me :-) in a good way! p.s. I think Shelina and I were spirit sisters separated at birth! I call myself a feminist Mormon housewife (in every positive connotation of the word) and well, I think we may have been cut from the same cloth. A highly educated, faithful woman who defies cultural traditions to climb Mount Kilimanjaro and become one of the most influential Muslim women in British society? You go, girl! :-)

Review # 2 was written on 2013-01-10 00:00:00 Paul Cooper This is a memoir of a British Indian Muslim woman looking for a husband. The book started with a very juvenile style. The author's Islamic reasoning was a little too simplistic ' like that of a teenager. I actually thought the book was excerpts from Shelina's diary when she was 19. The book lacks a clear time-frame. All I know is that it started when Shelina was a college student, it mentioned half-way through the book that the internet was still new, and it was published in 2009. Also, I only know the author was 19 at the beginning of the book, then she mentioned working, and at the end she got married. At some point, Shelina even seemed to suffer from a quarter life crisis like a 40-year old man. By that, I mean that she just went ahead and bought a racing car. Disclosing her age, and the date, would have helped readers relate to her challenges. The scene with the French tourist was so petty for both sides. Again, I don't know what year that happened, but I like to think that in 2013 people are more enlightened, and Muslims have better reasoning skills. I can only hope. I learned many new things about Indian culture from this book. For example: biodata. I heard about it before, but I thought it was just a joke. I am surprised to learn that some Indian families are deeply involved in the marriage quest of their daughters ' I thought only boys had that privilege since they are the seekers. For over 200 pages, the author was lamenting her fate, asking questions, raising her own hopes about love and marriage, questioning herself for a very short time then quickly changing her mind and claiming firmly that no, it was not her fault that she'd been single for so long. It's only on the last 10 pages that she brings up how she met the "one". Except she doesn't go into much details as she did with all the rejected suitors. You finish the book and you don't even know how old her husband is nor what he does for a living. I guess we have the right to that information now, don't we? I also wonder what happened to Noreen and Sara. The very fact that the author spent most of her time and energy on sharing her misfortunes while looking for love, and then she said very little about her happiness when she finally found it, is very realistic. That's how people are everywhere. You'll hear all about your friends' problems and misery, you'll be up-to-date with all their drama, but as soon as things are well, they fall off the face of the earth. It's a human thing, unfortunately. I think Shelina is another woman for whom marriage is the end ' the culmination of her life. It's as if her love quest ended with the "one", whereas it's supposed to only start. Since the book's title is "love in a headscarf", it should rather tell the story of life with the "one", not end with finding him. It should answer some of all the questions Shelina asked as a single girl, not just expose her young dreams and hopes. A minor detail, but one that haunted me during the entire book: Who the heck serves guests - suitors or not - instant coffee with condensed milk or bagged tea??? This was such a cultural shock for me. I did NOT know you could do that! Finally, I think "A British Indian Muslim marriage quest in a headscarf" is a more appropriate title.