Reviews for My Dearest Friend: Letters of Abigail and John Adams

The average rating for My Dearest Friend: Letters of Abigail and John Adams based on 2 reviews is 4 stars.

Review # 1 was written on 2008-09-17 00:00:00 Karen Dirkson As interesting reading material, I'll say that this collection of letters varied from five stars to negative -100. Since I'm not offered the amount of stars that I feel would allow me to properly and completely describe my rollercoastering level of interest, I'll have to settle for three. Perhaps we could have a "choose your own description" for each star end? Like, "one=I'd rather chop onions for a day while being forced to listen to Its a Small World on Repeat than read /that/ letter again," to "five=AAAARGH, why wasn't that letter longer, I feel like someone just stole an awesome twist ending from me, how could you do that??" If nothing else, I hope the rant above at least gave you the idea that this collection of letters does give one a very complete picture of the course of John and Abigail's relationship, from their courtship to their retirement. I was surprised in some instances by aspects of their relationship. They are always presented the same way: as a solid husband and wife team, as a case for equality in republic still dictated by lots of hypocrisy. Honestly, I think it took a long time and a lot of hard work for that to be true, and even then it was not universally so. Abigail seemed like any other young wife of her time, and innumerous are the occasions in which she either bends to John's will, or allows him to yell at her and run roughshod over her on any number of issues. For instance- her famous "Remember the Ladies," letter, in which she urges for female equality under the law, and female education. John made a joke out of it and laughed at it. According to the book, this pissed her off, but she didn't say more than a word about it in her next letter, and that was the end of that. He chastises her for complaining about him not writing from Europe and yells at her for telling him about his troubles, claming that she's only doing it to make him feel guilty, then preemptively writes an angry letter cautioning her not to feel jealous of the European ladies or he'll think her ridiculous, at her age, to think such a thing (in a really angry way), etc. I'm just saying... not so equal. At least, not until John becaame President. Even as Vice President, their correspondence remained largely about the children and the farm, and issues under the "women's purview." She certainly grows into herself, and her discourses on various Capital Lettered Virtues are interesting, but they are few and far between. Its just an interesting contrast to the way that they are generally presented. That all said, this book is worth it in that it does give such up front, eye witness accounts of the Revolution. There's one particularly thrilling letter of Abigail's that takes place within hearing and sight distance of a battle outside Boston that raged on for days, while cannon fire shook the house each night. It also gives an idea of the kind of people who were forging this revolution- farmers, shopkeepers, lawyers, people who had families to support. These people did not have independent means. Sometimes I think that we forget that while John Adams was helping with a Declaration of Independence, his children still had to eat. Their struggles balancing high principled actions and necessity are extremely interesting. It is also worth it because of the geniune (sometimes silly and over the top) love that these two people had for each other, even after thirty years of marriage, how much they wanted to be in each other's lives, mine each other's thoughts and feelings, couldn't wait for each minute that they spent in each other's company, warts, complaints and all.

Review # 2 was written on 2008-08-02 00:00:00 Jean Campbell Politics, history, loss, adventure, love, and the great lost art of truly beautiful letter-writing are all in this collection of letters between Abigail and John Adams. I would not have been a good wife for John Adams, but I don't know anyone who wouldn't enjoy a letter containing some of John's beautiful statements like, "I am as impatient to see you as I used to be twenty year ago." (p. 337) I expected to enjoy these letters as an interesting bit of history -- and there is some fascinating history in these letters, including John's seemingly endless snarkiness about Thomas Jefferson. But what really struck me about these letters is the incredibly personal nature of these letters, and how difficult it must have been to participate in a marriage that meant months, if not years, apart, with no way to communicate other than the unreliable mail service. In one particularly touching letter, Abigail writes to John that their daughter has been stillborn -- it's hard not to imagine her grief in sitting to write that letter, or his grief in reading her letter and hearing about the loss of his daughter. The editors of this collection do a great job of briefly setting the scene (explaining necessary details like names or chronology), then getting out of the way and letting the letters speak for themselves. One thing that takes some getting used to is remembering that it might take weeks if not months for the letters to make it back and forth -- the letters are presented chronologically as they are written, which might mean several letters in a row that do not have replies. Included in the collection is a very helpful chronology at the back of the book (just in case you don't remember every lesson from your American history classes) and a beautiful epilogue in which John Quincy Adams writes to his father after hearing of Abigail's death. John Adams writes back to his son, "Love to your Wife. May you never experience her Loss." Sigh...I can't help but mourn the loss of men who can actually write. Text messages just don't cut it, boys.