Hustler March 2009

GIRLS
25 MORGAN DAYNE
Hopeless Romantic
Photography by Mark Lit
48 KELLY SUMMER
Sock It to Her
Photography by Holly Randall
66 SABRINA ROSE & PAOLA REY
Ladies Who Lick
Photography by Matti Klatt
82 LINDSAY MARIE
All Laid Out
Photography by Mark Lit
111 MARIE MCCRAY & AARON McCRAY
Love Is...
Photography by T Ritter
130 DIANA DOLL
A Real Doll
Photography by Mark Lit
175 BRITNEY BRIGHTON
My Naughty Valentine
Photography by Ladi von Jansky
FEAUTES
38 THE Q&A: DR. HELEN CALDICOTT
The outspoken leader of the No-Nukes movement blasts away at the criminals who have poisoned Earth.
Interview by Ted Newsom
41 DAN DECARLO
The secret sexy side of the illustrator of Archie, Betty and Veronica.
Article by K K. Le Roque
44 NO GUTS, NO GLORY
A true-life memoir by a fearless soldier of fortune.
Artie by Jim Bolen
47 THE PORNOGRAPHY OF POWER
Robert Scheer's latest opus.
Book review by Latta Alexandrovna
56 SIX WAYS TO SAVE YOUR ASS AT POKER
The author of 52 Ways to Cheat at Poker explains how to catch the cheaters.
Article by Allan Kronzek
59 LARRY FLYNT: "KEEP THOSE CHEATERS AWAY FROM THE GAME!"
HUSTLER's publisher recalls the times he has nabbed a card-nicker.
Interview by Maeve Vanessa Scanlon
64 DEEP INSIDE HOLLYWOOD
World's bitchiest gossip maestro knows a thing or two about celebu-tards.
Interview by Keith Valcourt
77 CONSLUTS: DRAGON*CON 2008
Atlanta's annual fantasyfest boasts sci-fi celebrities, costumed babes and parties galore.
Ariirle by Sari Karma
98 SEBASTIAN BACH
Down and dirty with
Music Editor Keith Valcourt.
STANDARDS
3 SEX PARODY
Zac & Mimi Make a Porno
7 PUBLISHER'S STATEMENT
An Open Letter to President Barack Obama by Larry Flynt
9 TECH KNOW
Night vision goggles, plus a remote-controlled beer cooler
10 GAME ON
Saints, sinners, superheroes and a hedgehog
11 ROBERT SCHEER
The President & the Moneychangers
13 NAT HENTOFF
Missing: Assumed Rendered
15 ALEX BENNETT
Confessions of a TV Pundit
17 FEEDBACK
Props to Bush-hunter Bugliosi, plus the charms of Hannah Hilton
18 POLITICAL PARODY
Cadbury's poisonous chocolate
19 ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH
Henry Paulson
21 BITS & PIECES
Bucky's Valentine's Day tips, porn star Houston, and Sarah Palin gets a mouthful
36 HOT LETTERS
Panty kink
37 CLASSIC CARTOONS
Humorous hijinks from HUSTLER's vault
62 THE GIRLS OF MYSPACE
Fitness fox Wendy Rider
74 COUGARS UNLEASHED
The Platinum Princess, porn legend Seka by Luna Azul
80 TAILS OF THE BUNNYRANCH
Cathouse bombshell recalls one of her most bizarre experiences at Nevada's famed brothel by Air Force Amy
96 HUSTLER HUMOR
100 SIGHTS & SOUNDS
Missing Person Dale Bozzio, the Eagles of Death Metal and "porno freak" Blowfly
104 MOVIE MAMMARIES
Asian invasion! Bai Ling, Joan Chen, Lucy Liu & Reiko Ike
107 FAMOUS FLESH
Shauna Sand boob bust-out; Sarah Palin's beauty pageant past
119 COLLEGE REPORT
Coed's double life
120 REAL COLLEGE GIRLS
Extracurricular nudity
122 EROTIC ENTERTAINMENT
Ashlynn Brooke supports the troops, and Jenna Haze bewitches. Plus: Win a Who's Nailin' Paylin? DVD!
139 BEAVER HUNT
Stellar amateur roundup

PUBLISHER'S STATEMENT
AM OPEN LETTER TO PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
We, speaking of the nation, elected you. Now you have to do your job as our Chief of State. No excuses.
Your tasks are multifold: Restore our democracy. End the wars. Address global climate change and energy independence. Provide affordable healthcare. Eliminate election fraud. Fix our economy and, above all, keep your word to the people who have lost their jobs and homes.
You will be pressured to compromise. Don't sell out. Just run your government the way you ran your campaign for the Presidency. Lots of good people go to Washington with the best of intentions only to wind up as political hacks who do the bidding of special interests. You are better than that. Keep your promises, and you'll have the continued support of the American people.