Celebrity Sleuth by Volume Vol. 9 # 5

Sleuth Selects The 50 Best Butts
-- Rank
04 50 KIM BASINGER
06 49 CAROL ALT
08 48 LESLEY-ANNE DOWN
10 47 LEIGH TAYLOR-YOUNG
11 46 MAUD ADAMS
12 45 CAROLE LAURE
14 44 BARBARA BOUCHET
16 43 ANITA PALLENBERG
17 42 ROZ KELLY
18 41 FLORINDA BOLKAN
20 40 EMMANUELLE BEART
22 39 SABRINA SALERNO
24 38 CLAUDIA OHANA
26 37 ANNA BERGMAN
28 36 PATTI D'ARBANVILLE
30 35 STEFANIA SANDRELLI
32 34 ELKE SOMMER
34 33 JULIE NEWMAR
36 32 LISA LYON
38 31 LITA FORD
39 30 JANE SEYMOUR
40 29 CHRISTY TURLINGTON
42 28 ORNELLA MUTT
44 27 ASHLEY RICHARDSON
46 26 SOPHIE FAVIER
48 25 MADONNA
50 24 JANE BIRKIN
52 23 CHER
54 22 ELEONORA VALLONE
56 21 VANITY
57 20 LISA TAYLOR
58 19 JANE FONDA
60 18 BRINKE STEVENS
62 17 FRANCESCA DELLERA
64 16 GOLDIE HAWN
66 15 CAREY LOWELL
68 14 ROMY SCHNEIDER
70 13 RACHEL WILLIAMS
72 12 GRACE JONES
74 11 BRITT EKLAND
76 10 CLAUDIA SCHIFFER
78 9 BARBARA CARRERA
80 8 LAURA ANTONELLI
82 7 ANNE PARILLAUD
84 6 PIA ZADORA
86 5 STEPHANIE SEYMOUR
88 4 NICOLLETTE SHERIDAN
90 3 BRIGITTE BARDOT
92 2 PHOEBE CATES
94 1 ???????????????

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EDITORIAL
THE SLEUTHSAYER
"You can separate the men from the boys," a prominent sociologist surmised, "by studying voyeurs to see what they are studying as the girls go by. Check the eyes. Boys are predominatly breast fanciers, of course. The bigger the boobs that bounce past them, the more the youths rise to the occasion. More mature men, of course, have long learned that while the breast has its place among the beauties of the universe, the derriere is indeed one of the choicest parts of the female anatomy." And it's the part we choose to CELEBRATE in this landmark "Living End" study.
"Who are the girls who like to run around bare-assed?," an end-quiring mind wanted to know in a recent report. "And they are so proud of their dorsal nakedness they want no covering or camouflage of any kind. And who's complaining! We're not. Well, one of the prime moon movers is Elke Sommer" !Posterior Pick #34 inside!. "What is sexy anyway?," Elke asks. "I think it's the hands and the eyes. Other people like... other things."
As one cheeky connoisseur butts in: "It's the last part you see of a woman when she leaves the room. It forms your memories and influences your desires. We are speaking of the ass, of course." And as a feminist follower of fashion cracked, "Men, perhaps subconsciously, frequently pay tribute to the ass during man-to-man dialog: 'Have you had any ass lately?' or 'John gets more ass than a toilet seat' for example. Of course, our legs and breasts come in for their share of praise, but no man ever says to another, 'I need a good piece of leg,' or 'Let's go out and find some tit.' Ass has become synonymous with sex."
"Puffing one's way to a more shapely butt is the new hip thing to do," the chic women's magazine Allure announced in 1995. "Millions of us are firming flaccid fannies with such exercise videos as Buns of Steel" The glute guru who created the series, Tamilee Webb explains: "I grew up with a complex about my butt, and even though now it's making me a living, I still see it as a big of butt. Perfection," she concludes, "is just taking whatever you have and making sure that it's conditioned and shaped. In the end, that's what matters."
Which is why, for once, we're proud to be bringing up the rear.
Bottoms Up!