Maxim # 80, August 2004

FEATURES
94 WE WANT ANSWERS!
JOHN MCENROE
America's most even-tempered pro athlete discusses his new career as a talk show host, you idiot!
96 COVER GIRL
ANNA KOURNIKOVA
Maxim spends a weekel'fl on a Caribbean island with Anna Kournikova in a swimsuit. Send all Pulitzers to the address on page 18.
106 GOING FOR THE GOLD!
OFFICE OLYMPICS
Record-breaking first-quarter sales are for schmucks. Real men have these idiotic workplace competitions.
110 OLYMPIC GUIDE '04
BORED OF THE RINGS?
We highlight the 'roid-raging,T&A action.
112 HOMETOWN HOTTIES
WHO IS AMERICA'S SEXIEST GIRL NEXT DOOR?
One hundred girls vie for a top spot in our annual contest—but first you pick the top 10. And no stalking this time, please.
114 A GANG OF NEW YORK
JOKER'S WILDBUNCH
Dirty cops, jewelry heists, drug dealer robberies, and 10 years of metro-area mayhem.
124 KELLY CARLSON
BODY OF WORK
In 2002 she won our hearts—and votes—on American Idol. What? Wrong girl? Sorry. Meet the star of Nip/Tuck.
134 POOR SPORTS
HELL HOLES
Golfing isn't for the rich douches—it's for the damned!
136 SPORTING BODIES
ACTION FIGURES
Superathletes take off their uniforms...What else would you expect from the world's fastest women?
REGULARS
18 READERS' LETTERS
YOU TALKIN' TO US?
Join us as we lovingly mock your valuable feedback.
26 THE FUNNIES
LAUGH, STUPID!
Time plus tragedy equals comedy. Except on our jokes page, where death plus Arkansas equals comedy.
30 CIRCUS MAXIMUS
COOL! FUSION!
The origin of porn stars, how to hire an imaginary girlfriend, and other stuff in chewy, bite-size morsels.
40 WORKING GIRL
MENG LAU
So your little bout with cancer got you down, crybaby? A visit to her boss will cheer you right up. He can help get you high on the reefer, but more to the point, this hottie works for him!
52 INSTANT EXPERT
BARD TO THE BONE
Memorize this list of Shakespearian plots, then come to our office so we can beat you, nerd.
54 BODY SHOP
ASK DR. MAXIM
It's her first-ever athletic mishap spectacular!
58 WE SALUTE YOU
SMALLER THAN HIROKI'S SUSHI HOG
Why are you salivating, sicko?
60 WINE & DINE
THE BROTHERHOOD OF PORK
Some fight for truth, justice, and the American way. These guys are all about a good rack of pig meat.
68 SAYS HER
WIN YOUR GIRL'S MIND GAMES
When your girlfriend picks a fight, fight back. (Secretly.)
76 HOT ZONE
THE SWEDISH THING
A Scandinavian rock primer and what's good on TV.
145 TOP GEAR
MUSIC, MAN
Behold! A teeny-tiny MP3 player.
153 FASHION
SHOE THING
Fly new kicks for you running men, why you'll be back in black soon, and brand names you should know if you want to look sharp.
172 BAR EXAM
BABY GAYS
No more James Heidenry to kick around.