Maxim # 74 - February 2004

FEATURES
76 WE WANT ANSWERS!
DAVID CARRADINE
The little grasshopper says busting a nut 'hurts and loveless sex is empty. That's deep.
79 SPLASHDOWN '04
SPACE INVADERS
We sent Earth's seven sexiest bikininauts to the farthest reaches of the solar system in order to colonize space. We'll be taking travel reser tonsin 18 years, so start practicing your moonwalk.
120 SEEING RED
MARS HO!
Maxim's mission plan for colonizing the final frontier.
126 ROAD WARRIORS
MAXIMUM VELOCITY
In the world illegal street-raEibg, one 180 mph ride can change a man's life...or end it.
134 HOME IMPROVEMENT
RAISING THE BAR
Girlfriend's away? Turn her apartment into a pub and reclaim the life you left behind.
REGULARS
16 READERS' LETTERS
SPRING BREAK MADNESS
Win a girliewizzle and vomitizzle trip to Cancun!
22 JOKES
WHAT'S ON A NUN'S GRAVESTONE?
The punch line will have you rolling on the floor in hell.
24 CIRCUS MAXIMUS
NATURE VS. NURTURE
Suicidal horses, glow-in-the-dark fish, and remote-controlled rats? Men mess with the animal kingdom.
36 MAXIM WORLD
MICHELLE HUNZIKER
This Swiss model can't seem to stop frolicking around in her skivvies. We're OK with it. How about you?
40 HOW TO
THE LAZIEST WAY TO KEEP YOUR JOB
Learn to look like the model employee you're not.
48 SPORTS
HIDDEN TIGER
Is Tiger Woods as boring as white bread? He's not as bad as he wants to be, but he's nastier than you think.
52 CARS
RUNNING ON EMPTY
New hybrid cars will reduce our dependence on foreign oil, keep our air clean, and let you burn up the open road.
61 ASK DR. MAXIM
DEATH CALCULATOR
Find out why men die before women and what you can do about it.Transgender surgery won't work, by the way.
64 HOT ZONE
WE LOVE LOOTER!
From The Dukes of Hazzard, that is. Plus, Traffic brings guns and drugs into your living room. What, no hookers?
137 MAXIM FASHION
STYLE ON THE SLOPES
Cracking your skull on the halfpipe this winter? At least try to look good doing it. Dress to impress in the season's hottest snowboarding gear.
149 TOP GEAR
AN ARREST WAITING TO HAPPEN!
A digital surveillance camera small enough to peep at whatever it is that needs peeping.
156 BAR EXAM
DISABILITIES OF THE STARS
Discover what generates the acute insecurity that drives them today. Executive editor James Heidenry's handicap? Low-hanging man-boobs.