Hustler Holiday 2009

GIRLS
27 JAYDEN COLE
I Can't Take It Anymore!
Photography by Holly Randall
46 KELLIE KRAVE
Window Dressing
Photography by Jose Luis
63 SANDY & ALEXIS FORD
Twice the Nice
Photography by T Rifler
76 BOBBI STARR
Unwrapped
Photography by Mark Lit
100 THIS AIN'T THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY XXX!
TV pop clan gives the groupie, what they want.
Photos courtesy HUSTLER Video
119 ALETTA OCEAN
All Eyes on Me
Photography by Ladi von Jansky
162 NIKKI
Snowball
Classic Photography by Peter Hurd
FEATURES
38 A PRESIDENTIAL ENERGY POLICY
Oil supplies have peaked. Kiss the American way of life goodbye.
Book excerpt by Michael C Ruppert
41 ROBOT LOVE
The futuristic universe of artist Patrice Murciano
Profile by Albert Pierce
44 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE
Save the economy by buying more stuff no one needs!
Shopping tips by Keith Valcourt
54 A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JENNA HAZE
Porn's A-list princess lives a regular life just like you—almost.
Article by M. Allen Nathan
57 JOHN& KATE PLUS HATE
Reality-show family goes to hell for your cheap entertainment.
Cartoon parody by Noel Anderson
72 COUGARS WE'D LIKE TO SEE
Aging politicos finally strip thanks to the magic of Xmas.
90 GOY TO THE WORLD
Radio maverick hunts for hope in the Promised Land only to find a gaggle of grinches.
Article by Mancow Muller
STANDARDS
3 SEX PARODY
The Beaver, starring Mel Gibson
7 PUBLISHER'S STATEMENT
Bitch-Slap the Republicans
by Larry Flynt
9 TECH KNOW
Twice the giveaways!
10 GAME ON
Brutal Legend, Mafia 2, Madballs!
11 ROBERT SCHEER
Stupid Meddling
13 NAT HENTOFF
Our Humpty Dumpty President
15 ALEX BENNETT
Sorry to Disagree, Reverend
17 MAMIE VAN DOREN
Desperately Seeking Christmas
18 FEEDBACK
Torture blowback, Angelina's gift and lotsa love for sex legends
20 POLITICAL PARODY
Halliburton's new perk: rape
21 ASSHOLE OF THE MONTH
Liz Cheney, daughter of evil
23 BITS & PIECES
Bucky's holiday tips, E3 booth babes and the return of Spantaneeus Xtasty
35 PINUP BY SANDRA CHANG
36 HOT LETTERS
How to Build an Orgasm
37 CLASSIC CARTOONS
This shit never gets old!
61 TAILS OF THE BUNNYRANCH
My First Handle Job
by Brooklyn Star
75 THE GIRLS OF MYSPACE
Multiethnic doll Brianna Jordan
by Michelle McCarthy
88 HUSTLER HUMOR
Funnier than a drunk Santa on a skateboard.
94 SIGHTS & SOUNDS
Ron White's blue-collar Christmas and stocking stuffers you need!
98 MOVIE MAMMARIES
Keira Knightley: pirate booty
99 FAMOUS FLESH
Carmen Electra's Sin City striptease
108 COLLEGE REPORT
Taser vs. student body
109 REAL COLLEGE GIRLS
Extracurricular derring-do
111 EROTIC ENTERTAINMENT
Two big XXXmas DVD giveaways! Operation: Tropical Stormy, Everybody Loves Lucy and more to keep your Yule log warm!
127 BEAVER HUNT
Captivating amateurs