Hustler Humor Vol.1 No.4

BULLSHITTIN'
After we got the first three issues of this knee-slappin' mag under our editorial chastity belt, we thought we ought to start publishing our philosophy here like some of those other adult entertainment magazines. These are just a few of the pieces of wisdom we've tried to live our lives by. Some mean so much to us, we've put them on our license plates and tattooed them on our chest.
One of our favorite bits of philosophical thought goes like this: A man with a wet dick and a smile on his face has probably just been satisfied by a lady with a talented tongue, but a man with a wet dick and a grimace has probably just been caught fucking a melon.
Here's one we like to refer to whenever we find ourselves in a bitch of a social situation like the policeman's ball: Shit floats, but piss mingles.
That one never fails to raise an eyebrow and get people thinking.
We get a little misty eyed looking at the one grandma stitched on a sampler for our last birthday: A woman's ass should be like a coffin—something you can get buried in. Grandma lived her entire life by that one, I'm here to tell you.
We'd like to close with one that comes down to us from grandma's Uncle Jethro, and it goes something like this: If you're gonna be standin' there with your own stones in your hand, you might as well be humpin' lady grasshoppers.