Swank # 33, May 2000

6 Emma
She's an animal!
14 Letters
You write. We read.
18 Lindsey, Misty, Treasure
A trio of trim!
28 How to Satisfy Any Woman!
Give your lover the "Big 'O'!"
31 Lisa
Lush and lusty!
40 Quickies
Unbelievable true shit!
42 Madison & Brandon
She knows her way around a dick!
50 Marlyn Star
The XXX file on the Wanton Woman of Wall Street!
52 Holli
The one and only, baby!
62 Jenny
Superfine!
70 Tales of the Unexplained: Dead Man Walking!
They're alive!
73 Kirsty
Black, red and pink all over!
82 Holli Woods
Start spreading your legs!
84 Jordan (Covergirl & Centerfold)
She's got it all! Want it?
97 Pranks
A cavalcade of whimsy!
98 XXX Reviews
Lesbians, blowjobs and backdoor! Oh my!
102 Abbey
This countrysideo cutie wantssyon
113 Sophie
Waiting to be railed!
177 Rachel & Mark
Some good ol'-fashioned fucking!
184 Next Month
Your smutty future!

Editorial Note
I haven't checked recently, but to the best of my knowledge we're all still here. The earth is still rotating at its normal speed, the sun isn't barreling towards us, nor has all the world's computers imploded or taken on misanthropic techno-personalities and banded together via the Internet to destroy the human race.
Or, in fact, have all these things taken place and I'm merely a smoldering lump of smoking bones and charred vital organs lying by the side of the road on a planet whose ground temperature is a steady 1060 degrees, spinning like a demented top and the only survivors are a band of virulent computers who have reprogrammed themselves to compose editors' pages for various leading mens' magazines?
One never knows, do one?
Well, whomever or whatever is writing this page, here's some of the excitement to be uncovered in this new issue of Swank... Emma, the wild sex kitten! Do you think you've got what it takes to tame her? Treasure, Lindsey and Misty—you've just been dealt a winning hand of three porno queens! Madison & Brandon, a pair of young lovers in lust want you to watch them fuck! Holli Woods in an exclusive full-length pictorial! You can only catch her here. Lovely Lisa spreading her lips in the great outdoors. Enjoy the pretty petals of her flower. Platinum blonde bombshell Kirsty ignites. Be ready to watch her explode. Jordan showing why she was chosen to be our centerfold spread! And spread she does! Abbey offering her crumpet up for a tasting and Rachel & Mark going at it like there's no tomorrow or next week for that matter!
Hey, are you looking to dig it spooky? Well then, read about a man's frightening voodoo experiences, including a personal encounter with a zombie, in Dead Man Walking!
And if you need more than magic to get your girl off check out How To Satisfy Any Woman and learn the secrets to giving her a cunt quaking orgasm!
Plus there's a quick look at how Marylin Star went from Ball Street to Wall Street, Holli banging in the Big Apple, your fucking Letters, Jokes, XXX Reviews and 10010 10010110 000 110 001 00 00
The Editors