Features
46 KATRINA BOWDEN
30 ROCK'S BOMBSHELL ASSISTANT TAKES CHARGE. by DAVID SWANSON
54 ARMISEN OF ONE
Fred Armisen blows $848 on crack...pie! by PATRICK CARONE
58 YOUR PARENTS' BASEMENT
How to survive moving back home. by RANDY WALKER
60 CALIFORNIA DREAM
Camilla Luddington heats up Californication. by STEPHAIM RADVAN
62 THE SKY IS ON FIRE!
And other apocalyptic weather. by SETH POROES
66 ICON: DANNY MCBRIDE
Mullets, baseball, and breast milk—oh, my! by NICK LEPTLEY
58 EMPLOYEE OF THE YEAR
Dawn Olivieri breaks office dress code on House of Lies. by JESSE BRUICNIAN
72 TOUGH MUDDER KICKS OUR ASS!
You dared us to run the most miserable obstacle course ever. Now we hate you.
by DAN BOVA
78 RED-HOT RED CARPET
See the ladies who make the pre-show the main show.
80 THE LEGEND OF DORITOS
How one chip crunched the competition. by GAVIN EDWARDS
76 MOVIE MASCOTS
WHY HIRE HYPED-UP HOLLYWOOD ACTORS FOR YOUR FILM WHEN EQUALLY ENTERTAINING, CUDDLIER
SPORTS MASCOTS CAN DO THE JOB JUST AS WELL? (THAT IS, IF RYAN GOSLING IS UNAVAILABLE.)
by NICK WILEY
Dept.
6 LETTERS
Readers tell us how much we screwed up. We wonder why they're so surprised.
13 CIRCUS MAXIMUS
Classic movies as cartoons, gang signs vs. shadow puppets, Jennifer Aniston's
beardy pen pal, and other weirdness.
32 HOT SAUCE
Learn all about our goodwill mission to beautify America, and get to know our
latex-clad intern coordinator.
39 STUFF
Check out some retro kicks and catch Bieber Fever (or just a nasty rash) while
testing camping equipment on a mom-heavy ticket line.
84 STYLE
Trash that Christmas sweater and upgrade your wardrobe with these duds (whatever
the hell "duds" are).
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