The Boy I Love Book

3.5 stars

The Boy I Love is at once a stunning portrayal of life, love, and reality post-WWI and a rather depressing read. I'm torn because I think this story is technically an absolute masterpiece, well written with heart breaking characters and never afraid to depict poor conditions and disfigured men. While the men and action are unbelievably compelling, keeping you glued to the story page after page, it's also very dark and no one gets a happy ending. That's not a bad thing necessarily and normally I never personally mind but the emotional investment is high and the payoff will vary for readers. I can easily and whole heartedly recommend this story based on it's technically brilliance but whether you'll enjoy reading the story is going to vary reader to reader.

The summary is rather inadequate to describe the story (as you no doubt guessed). There is a rather large cast but they all revolve around the main character of Paul Harris. Paul is recently released after a lengthy recovery at an asylum after the war. Losing his left eye in the war compounds the mental and emotional anguish Paul experiences following the atrocities he saw and committed. Paul happens to run into his dead brother's girlfriend and realizes she's pregnant with Robbie's child. Deciding to marry Margot, Paul seems at peace but his decision affects everyone differently. From Paul's lover Adam who he continues to see even after marriage to Patrick, an old military friend with a crush on Paul, the men and women orbiting around Paul all depict different perspectives and goals as they try to etch out lives for themselves.

The story is told in differing third person point of views and is gripping from the very beginning. Husband weaves a slight mystery and question of exactly what Paul did during the war that causes him such anguish into the story so the reader wonders throughout until the answer is revealed at the very end. Besides this question, the rest of the story is character driven with a fully realized, incredibly complicated cast. While every single person included has depth and purpose, a feat in itself, many remain a mystery for the duration. Adam, Patrick, and Margot are all Paul's lovers at one point or another, and at one point he's sleeping with all three individually. They each offer something completely different and complex and show individuals trying incredibly hard to create small happiness where they can find it.

Paul is clearly the main character and all others revolve around him either directly or on the periphery but he remains an enigma. His journey is occasionally heart breaking to read as you watch him begin each relationship with excitement and purpose, only to grow restless and distant. Ultimately turning what was a loving encounter into a chore and duty. Paul is perhaps the most damaged of the cast, above and beyond the injured Mick missing both legs. His inability to be happy and deep emotional scaring create a fascinating character but one that is very hard to read. I found myself rooting for Paul to find happiness with any one of his lovers but realized that he never truly could be happy with anyone, but that won't stop him from trying with person after person. This started to wear on me and I can't necessarily fault the story or the author but I felt bad for all the characters involved.

Part of this is that the story is so gripping and engaging, I couldn't put it down. I read it in one sitting, staying up very late to finish and ultimately never got that pay off that I put into the story. Mick gets a happy ending of sorts and I was gratified to see how that worked out but his story is very peripheral. I wanted Adam or Patrick to find something for themselves. Adam especially ends up a sad character with his damp house and resentment while Patrick's final resolution almost brought me to tears. I felt wrung out with the intensity of the story, honesty of the time period and characters, yet given little hope that any of them would be happy. Content maybe, but not happy so this is ultimately a reader choice that is likely to vary from reader to reader.

The Boy I Love is an ambitious novel that does have a few stumbles, the most notably in that the characters remain mysterious even after close to 300 pages. Yet for that the stunning writing and inspired prose lend well to the honest characters laid open honestly with their flaws and strengths. On the one hand it's incredibly easy to read and sucks you in to the story immediately, yet the resolutions simply can't be easy. The book is better for never taking the easy route and keeping each character brutally honest, yet I would have preferred even the hint of hope. I easily and enthusiastically recommend this story to everyone but be careful and read this when you're in the mood for something intense and moving.

One final note on the rating. I found this book an enigma to rate. It fully deserves the highest marks, 5 stars or more, based on several elements not the least is the incredible writing. Yet I can't say this is a book I *enjoyed* reading. I couldn't put it down and may even read it again but I didn't enjoy it. Thus I ended up with an odd rating that reflects the dichotomy of a great book that I just can't say I liked reading it even though I felt compelled to. So in this case, ignore the stars and decide for yourself.