Hail to the Chiefs: Presidential Mischief, Morals, and Malarkey from George W. to George W. Book

4.5 stars rounded down to four.

This book was a load of fun. I first read it for a communications class I took the spring semester of college in 1999. (More on that in a minute). The version I read back then stopped with Ronald Reagan.


(Daddy was never impressed with my Garbage Pail Kids, but he was so upset with these two that I believe he told me to get rid of them, which simply means I probably hid them somewhere.)

Ms. Holland updated it in 2003 and added H.W. Bush, Clinton, and Dubya, and they fit right in with the rest. I'm personally glad that Obama and Trump are absent. I still can't find anything funny about the former, but maybe one day.

This is sensationalist humor and should be read as such. Barbara gives us facts about the presidents, then spins them in a comedic way that makes this a delight to read. She also gives us some old rumors, some of which have since been disproved (such as Florence Harding poisoning her husband), but still gives us a conspiracy theory line that causes you to doubt the facts she just gave you. She directly addresses the reader often, and her sarcastic footnotes are a scream. Here's a random sample from the section on Ulysses S. Grant: "Julia was a fine First Lady, but Grant had trouble being First Man. It's specialized work, and some of us are better at it than others. I hear he'd never even read the Constitution.* [footnote 11: Unlike the rest of us, who gather the family around every evening and read it aloud after dinner.]" You'll find this kind of thing on every page.

The temptation for me to start discussing the Presidents and their idiosyncrasies is strong, but I'm going to avoid it because once I open that gate, I will go on and on and on and on and on ad nauseam. Researching the Presidents and the First Ladies is a hobby of mine, and you can't get me to shut up once I start. I can name all of them (in order if you give me a little time to think about a couple of them... and let me run a verse or two from this song through my head). I can also tell you a tidbit or two about most of them, and a whole hell of a lot about some. Some people find this impressive. I think it just proves that I have no life and never did. But if you like that, you should've seen my American history teacher at the first college I went to. He could tell you, in order, every President, his vice president, what year they were elected and what the issues were, and that's to say nothing of all the stuff he could tell you about what went on between the elections. But he had a life; history was his life, and knowing that kind of stuff was what made him a good teacher.

This book is great for anyone with an interest in the Presidents' foibles, but anyone using this book for a research paper deserves the F they'll get as it's very tongue-in-cheek. And that actually serves as a nice segue.

(Review is over now. The rest of this is memories from my college days.)

I did use this for a class, but not history. I had to do a group project in my communications class, and the other members of my group let me talk them into doing a report on various scandals the presidents were involved in. One did the conclusion, and three others did detailed analysis for Jefferson, Kennedy, and Nixon. I know that not because I have a terrific memory, but because I found my notes last night. (I seem to be a pack rat.) This meant I got to do the introduction which briefly covered all the others, and I pulled most of my material from this book.

It was during this project that I discovered I'm actually pretty good at public speaking. The class (and more importantly, the teacher) enjoyed my presentation which was only semi-scripted. I had notes jotted down that I glanced at as I went along, but the exact verbiage was off the cuff, and that seems to be how I do my best work. I even omitted and added stuff from the notes as I went along, and I think that works best for any public speaker. Anything read verbatim from notes or a teleprompter always comes off stilted, no matter how polished the speaker is or how great the material may be. (Just look at the presenters for any awards show. Barfeth!) You need to be able to gauge your audience and adjust and respond to it as needed. My part was such a smash that I was getting compliments on it for the rest of the day, including from people who weren't even in the class and from people I didn't even know! (Averett is a small university now, and was an even smaller college back then, and nothing was private at this private institution. Hell, every time someone took a shit, the number of plies of toilet paper used in the exercise was known by the rest of the campus before he was even out of the stall, and any extra activities that may have gone on in there was also thoroughly discussed. This is one of the reasons I transferred out to the biggest university Virginia had to offer my senior year.)

I felt a little bad for the others in my group who had to follow me because they didn't have the same penchant for that kind of thing that I possessed. I swear I didn't do that on purpose; it was kind of news to me since I used to be terminally shy (and still can be). But once I get up in front of everyone, I tend to roll rather well. I can't explain it, but there it is.

For another assignment in that class (this one solo), we had to give a demonstration on how to do something in under five minutes. I decided to show everyone how to make Devastator who was a Transformer gestalt comprised of construction vehicles.


(Shown here).

There I was in front of the class with the construction vehicles building Decepticon city (Trypticon) when the Dinobots attacked in robot mode. The Constructicons turned into their robot modes to defend, then the Dinobots transformed into dinosaurs which was too much for the Constructicons who merged into Devastator, and they all had a knock-down, drag-out fight... I can't remember who won; I think it was the Constructicons. Throughout all of this the teacher sat with his head tilted and mouth slightly agape as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing (which very well may have been the case), yet I got an A regardless. And let me tell you, it wasn't easy doing nine regular transformations, plus a gestalt merger, and providing a story in under five minutes, but I pulled it off.

I think I got an A for all of my presentations, but I don't think I got an A in the class due to the prof having to factor in test scores. The fact that my coke bottle had a lot of rum in it during my final exam might have had something to do with that. Still, the grade was high since the presentations were a major portion.

Anyway, anyone who enjoys fun, albeit not 100% accurate, history and wants something they don't need to take too seriously would enjoy this.