Gay Sex: A Manual for Men Who Love Men Book

Pat, now Patrick, Califia: "arguably the most influential S/M commentator and pornographer working today. In the past Califia described herself as, "a dyke, a feminist, a pornographer, a sadomasochist, a poet, a storyteller, an omnivore, a pagan, a social critic, a sex educator, and an activist." Pat is now Patrick, a fully-transitioned FTM transsexual.

Beginning in 1981, Pat wrote an advice column for the Advocate. This is a selection of them. They deal with relationship issues, fetishes, dealing with family, AIDS and other STDs, growing old, etc. Pat was a great choice for this job - he is knowledgeable, non-judgmental, and caring.

A couple of caveats, however. She too frequently assumes that relationship/sexual problems are the result of childhood sexual abuse (even when the letter writer gave no indication of such an issue). More important, this book was written in 1991. That means that the information relating to AIDS, while valid in the most important aspect (USE A CONDOM!!!! PRACTICE SAFE SEX!!!), is not necessarily accurate. (She uses the term ARC, for example.) We know more now, about transmission, seroconversion, treatment options are different, etc.

There is a list of resources at the back - obviously many of these are outdated, by technology (like the section on Computer BBS), and of course many of the organizations will be defunct, or moved, or have different phone numbers.

But if you're on this site, you have internet access. Use it.