Getting Ready to Negotiate: The Getting to Yes Workbook Book

I attended a class on International Negotiations at the Foreign Service Institute this week and we were assigned this book to read for the class. I thought the book was rather straightforward and I liked the anecdotes. Overall, I think it was a good selection for our class and helped to emphasize the points being taught. I doubt I will become a master negotiator, but I do see benefits from this book and class in my personal life.

Some of the lessons I learned in class include the following:

"People won't let you change their mind unless they trust you." Thomas Colosi

"Treat every meeting as a negotiation." Thomas Colosi

"People who only use the formal negotiation process will not often be very successful." Thomas Colosi

"First rule of negotiating: Be nice." Carmen Suro-Bredie

interesting quotes from the book:

"A generation ago, the term 'negotiation' also had an adversarial conotation. In contemplating a negotiation, the common question in people's minds was 'Who is going to win and who is going to lose?' To reach an agreement someone had to 'give in.' It was not a pleasant prospect. The idea that both sides could benefit, that both could 'win,' was foreign to many of us. Now it is increasingly recognized that there are cooperative ways of negotiating over differences and that even if a 'win-win' solution cannot be found, a wise agreement can still often be reached that is better for both sides than the alternative." (p. xii)

"In a negotiation, particularly in a bitter dispute, feelings may be more important than talk." (p. 31)

"An apology may be one of the least costly and most rewarding investments you can make." (p. 35)

"No matter how many people are involved in a negotiation, important decisions are typically made when no more than two people are in the room." (p. 38)

"If you want someone to listen and understand your reasoning, give your interests and reasoning first and your conclusions or proposals later." (p. 54)

"Few things facilitate a decision as much as precedent." (p. 80)

"In short, the approach is commit yourself to reaching a solution based on principle, not pressure. Concentrate on the merits of the problem, not the mettle of the parties. Be open to reason, but closed to threats." (p. 84)

"Some of the most effective negotiating you will ever do is when you are not talking." (p. 114)

"Some parties locked into adversarial ruts seem unable to consider alternative approaches until they reach the brink of mutual annihilation, and some not even then." (p. 155)

"Before you even begin to negotiate, it makes sense to envision what a successful agreement might look like." (p. 175)