He finally reached the square and looked around.
The sky was greyish, crossed by exhausted, dirty clouds; the tall buildings, which emerged through the mist looked unfinished and ugly.
The river, which split into two streams just ahead of the open square, was thick and yellow, like diluted paint.
Women and men walked briskly around him, fixed their eyes on the stranger, so alien to the place, but they didn't do anything more than registering his presence.
They were all dressed in shades of black and white, they looked neat and clean, but all their clothes looked cheap, or poorly executed, like their hairstyles.
You could recognize the passages of scissors and razors in the men's hair, and the women's were evidence of attempts to create something cute or sexy, attempts that had failed halfway through and finally completed only by necessity.
He breathed deeply and started wondering why he was here.
He had been in the extreme north, where rigid temperatures whipped your face, at the tropics, where the streets smelled of the sweet smell of decomposed leaves, but he had never seen a place so unlikeable.
He wondered if for a few days in spring or summer the sun rays could break through the grey sky and shed some benign light on this unfortunate town.
Suddenly he saw her and it was like an awakening, he remembered why he was there. She was standing, maybe 10 meters from him, maybe less, looking at him amused.
She was of average built, not particularly slim, still, her hips and her breasts were no more than slight swells in the black tracksuit she was wearing, He knew she was very young, but there, in the square, she looked even younger.
there was something raw around her and this was good, because in this place, he thought, it was impossible to mature, but only go from unripe to rotten; he just hoped she could go away before this happened to her.
She got closer, greeted him with a smile, and then they moved to a coffee shop, where they made some small talk and reviewed the rules that they had adopted.
He could see that she had made her choice and wasn't looking back.
There was an expectation like she was going to lose her virginity, except that her body would still be intact after their meeting (this has been one of her requests, which he hadn't found difficult to commit to).
They went to the anonymous hotel and entered the large hall, covered by marble sheets, that remained cool even in the heat of the day.
While he checked in, she sat on a cracked leather sofa, waiting for him; then she followed him to the room, with a contented smile.
In the end, while she dressed up, she wanted to ascertain that he had enjoyed the hours that they had spent together.
"Sure," he said. She smiled happily.
"You gave pleasure to me, and I gave pleasure to you" she confirmed.
"Yes," he replied and looked at the piece of ruler he had broken on her ass.
It seemed that for her reciprocity was important, while he wanted to feel the gratuity of what he had done, he wanted to feel like a priest officiating a prescribed rite, fulfilling a duty.
They left the room, he checked out while she sat on the same cracked leather sofa, and then she accompanied him to the train station.
Abruptly she turned to him as if something had dawned in her mind. "Are you coming again?" she asked.
He contemplated the possibility. He had spent hours reaching this place.
Sometimes the physical world can be cruel, he thought, the mere distance being an obstacle to emotions, in the past, they would have said that matter was an obstacle to the spirit.
Suddenly all her past, still unresolved, the years spent in that town, experiences which he could barely imagine, that had let her need to be spanked and whipped by a stranger in a hotel room, seemed a burden which he felt obliged to unfold if he wanted to continue to meet her.
He didn't feel anymore like a priest but like a doctor administrating a drug, who needs to be sure that he is alleviating the pain of his patient, not making it worst.
He didn't say anything and continued walking. He could see a tear forming in the girl's eyes.
She was with him until he punched the ticket and went through the train's gate. He turned to wave goodbye.
Of all he had done to her, his dissimulated indifference seemed to be the cruelest thing.
