Bouvard and Pécuchet Book

As I watched the heroes of Flaubert's last, unfinished novel meander aimlessly from one disaster to the next, they began to seem strangely familiar. And after a while, I couldn't help wondering

What Might Have Happened If Bouvard And Pécuchet Had Been Able To Join Goodreads

That year, Paris talked of nothing but the internet, and, even in Normandy, people began to experiment with the new invention. The two friends found an internet café in Caen; but the connection was slow, and the other habitués made remarks about their uncertain skills. Despite the expense, they asked Gorgu to install a broadband connection for them. After perusing a number of sites in an attempt to find one which accorded with their taste for knowledge and lively discussion, they finally discovered Goodreads.

They had always had opinions about the many books they had read, and, within a day, their first posts appeared. Bouvard wrote a critical review of Infinite Jest, a work he felt to be overlong and poorly constructed; he was especially incensed by the endnotes, many of which, he claimed, were quite unnecessary. Not to be outdone, Pécuchet composed a review of The Road, which he was unafraid to say he had found downbeat and depressing. They logged in the next day, and the one after, to see if people had voted for their efforts; but no votes appeared. After a week, Bouvard made an announcement to his friend as they were eating their breakfast.

"Evidently," he said, "success on the Internet requires strategy. I have studied several blogs which offer helpful advice. Primo, we need a group of supporters who will vote for us and raise our profile."

They resolved to start by voting for each other's reviews; Bouvard promised he could persuade Mme. Bordin to join their little group, and Pécuchet made a similar undertaking with regard to Foureau.

"Secondo," continued Bouvard, "we must write in English. If this requires us to improve our command of the Anglo-Saxon tongue, so be it."

There were indeed a few lacunae in their knowledge of English. Also, something had happened to the laptop's shift key, so that everything they wrote came out in capitals; but they did not allow these setbacks to discourage them. By evening, they had successfully revised and translated their reviews. They were somewhat shorter than the original ones, but the essential content, they felt, remained unaltered. They pressed the Submit button, and waited.

The response was immediate and gratifying. Foureau and Mme. Bordin, summoned by urgent Skype calls, had duly voted; but, to their great surprise, many other votes began to pour in from the four corners of the Earth. They were not entirely certain they understood the accompanying comments, for the greater part couched in an idiom more colloquial than they were used to.

"What does 'Go for it?' mean?" asked Pécuchet, after fruitlessly consulting his lexicon; Bouvard was unable to enlighten him, but they agreed it could only be a positive exhortation of some kind. They returned to the laptop several times during the night, each time to find new additions. They had managed to accumulate over a dozen votes on each review.

Encouraged by this success, they posted several more reviews over the following days, to greater and greater acclaim. They abandoned their attempts to correct the problem with the shift key when they noticed several other reviewers copying their style.

Despite obvious difficulties, they felt themselves obliged to post their opinions on Flaubert. They condemned Madame Bovary for its unsympathetic and immoral heroine, and found L'Education Sentimentale pointless and dull. Finally, they reached their own book, where their opinions were divided. Pécuchet pronounced himself less than overwhelmed. The story, he said, was haphazard and lacked cohesion. In addition, most of the characters were poorly sketched and uninteresting, and there was too much philosophy but not enough action; worst of all, the author had died before managing to complete it. He grudgingly gave it three stars, noting that he had considered reducing this to two. Bouvard, on the contrary, was impressed with Flaubert's diligence in reading over 1500 books as part of the background research, and found the novel solidly constructed and entertaining. Having his own doubts about the value of the Christian faith, he approved the author's ambiguous presentation of the theme. Both reviews were enthusiatically received.

That evening, when they were taking a well-earned glass at Beljambe's establishment, Doctor Vaucorbeil asked if they were still wasting their time on the internet. Bouvard drew himself up to his full height and answered with dignity.

"We are not wasting our time," he said. "People appreciate our writing." His words drew a round of applause, and the Doctor left precipitately.

The very next day, however, Bouvard saw fit to post his long-awaited review of Twilight. He drew parallels between vampirism and Christian doctrine, quoting the opinions of Origène on the Miracle of the Transubstantiation and equating the vampire's thirst for blood with the Christian's thirst for the Body of his Lord. There was a storm of complaints. Several people, including the Comte, immediately unfriended them; other members flagged the review, and within a day the administrators had taken it down.

The friends, crushed, responded by closing their accounts and leaving the site. People there were evidently too petty-minded to appreciate them; but, with their customary optimism, they hoped that they would be more welcome on Wikipedia.