Using Excel in the Classroom Book

My dad recently read this and insistently recommended it to me, acknowledging that it's already out of date. So far, I find it fairly interesting, although I thought the introduction could have been pruned down without much loss.

Notes so far:
Ch. 1 -- I dislike the example of sushi in "modeling down." I know people who introduce their kids to sushi. I think it's great if kids develop good taste in food at a young age and I don't think it compares well to more serious issues of modeling down like allowing children access to information they're not prepared to handle. I know is a fairly harmless example, but I also thought it was stupid and ineffective in getting the point across.

Ch 2 -- I liked the suggestions to encourage uniqueness as a positive desirable trait to help kids resist the materialistic "stuff" race that is so seductive. (I think my dad was always SUPER good at that.) I also like the suggestion to discuss financial decisions with kids from time to time -- why or why not to make a purchase. I like the suggestion to engage in social referencing by discussing popular culture with them and their perceptions, thoughts, experiences and how they relate. (I think my mom was really, really good at this.) Also, I like the discussion of how we are aging our children up by allowing them to acquire things and experience rites of passage prematurely.

Ch. 2 (more) -- I like the comparison of a child to a landscape and the parents to the landscape architects, working with the strengths and limitations that are present in the environment. I liked the concept of "cognitive restructuring" so that you could acknowledge a child's feelings but reframe a situation to expand the child's perspective (eg. regarding authority figures)

Ch. 4 -- discussed here the concept of delayed gratification as a muscle that must be strengthened. Also talked about making the parents' relationship and needs a priority and not just the kids' desires and wants. As a Mormon, I have a special appreciation for his version of family council.

Ch. 5 -- I see things here I could work on, for example, asking my kids open-ended questions to lead discussions on interactions we see or they tell new about or that I share with them. I like the distinction in this chapter between being aggressive, passive, and assertive -- I would like to do better at promoting their abilities to be assertive. I also appreciated this statement near the end of the chapter "While some kids seem to acquire empathy naturally, this is the exception rather than the rule." I know teaching empathy is something I'd like to work on as a parent.

Ch. 6 -- I liked that he discusses how different parenting styles are better for different kids; I haven't infrequently heard one touted as the ONE, but since I believe there are a lot of ways to be a good parent I buy his philosophy more. In this chapter he discusses being consistent; I think I could do better at this. I really like the discussion on teaching kids to make decisions early -- giving them chances to practice and ways to counsel them through a decision when they're struggling. I liked the discussion of time management too, specifically helping kids do it by planning with them and keeping a calendar.

Ch. 7 -- I like the section on communication: the emphasis on asking kids what they think about things instead of lecturing and responding by recognizing their emotions rather than being reactive to their words. Our church encourages family meetings (though they term them family councils), but I like the addition of a place to record items of concern (the agenda) for all family members leading up to the meeting.

In summary, I thought this book was interesting. I feel that his clients were primarily five to fifteen years younger than I am, and that things have shifted for better or worse quite a bit since that time. Also, his clients were primarily much wealthier (and/or possibly stupider?) than most people I know. When he's talking about getting kids all the newest gadgets the moment they come out and upgrading to the newest version as much as every eighteen months, I can't relate to that. But then I don't have teenagers yet. My dad said he was surprised by the way sex and media are intermixing, and I wasn't that shocked by that, but possibly because I've seen quite a number of TED Talks on the subject recently and read quite a number of articles on it. However, overall, I found some interesting points and some reminders useful. It took me too long to read, though, and I am glad I finished it. It was a bit of a drag. Also, I would love to know what happened to that hard-working girl he mentioned near the end of the book who was raised by her grandmother and had less access to technology than most of his clients, because his predictions were rather dire and my guess is that she turned out just fine and probably even thrived! ;)