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Introduction | 1 | |
1 | The forever seeking 1921 and before | 11 |
2 | Born under a sickly star 1921-1927 | 23 |
3 | A house divided 1927-1933 | 33 |
4 | Suppressions 1933-1938 | 46 |
5 | The taste of freedom 1938-1940 | 63 |
6 | A trail of unmade beds 1940-1942 | 77 |
7 | The dungeon of thy self 1942-1943 | 90 |
8 | A carefully nurtured bohemianism 1943-1945 | 103 |
9 | The strange, subtle pluckings of terror 1945-1948 | 117 |
10 | How I adore my Virginias 1945-1948 | 126 |
11 | Yaddo, shadow--shadow, Yaddo! 1948 | 139 |
12 | Instantly, I love her 1948-1949 | 151 |
13 | Carol, in a thousand cities 1949-1951 | 160 |
14 | Two identities: the victim and the murderer 1951-1953 | 173 |
15 | Pat H, alias Ripley 1953-1955 | 186 |
16 | Each Man is in His Spectres power 1955-1958 | 200 |
17 | This sweet sickness 1958-1959 | 211 |
18 | A lurking liking for those that flout the law 1959-1960 | 220 |
19 | The ultra neurotic 1960-1962 | 229 |
20 | A freedom from responsibility 1962-1964 | 243 |
21 | Love was an outgoing thing 1964-1967 | 259 |
22 | This shimmery void 1967-1968 | 275 |
23 | The false, the fake and the counterfeit 1968-1969 | 289 |
24 | An equal opportunity offender 1969-1970 | 299 |
25 | Name: Ishmael 1970-1971 | 311 |
26 | What are the odds of cat versus person? 1971-1973 | 327 |
27 | The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot 1973-1976 | 340 |
28 | Your kisses fill me with terror 1976-1978 | 356 |
29 | A girl who allows me to dream 1978-1980 | 370 |
30 | People who knock on the door 1980-1982 | 380 |
31 | A strange interior world 1982-1983 | 390 |
32 | Work is more fun than play 1983-1986 | 402 |
33 | No end in sight 1986-1988 | 414 |
34 | A face accustomed to its ghosts 1988 | 425 |
35 | Art is not always healthy and why should it be? 1988-1992 | 436 |
36 | I hesitate to make promises 1992-1995 | 447 |
Epilogue | 460 | |
Notes | 466 | |
List of Illustrations | 513 | |
Acknowledgements | 514 | |
Index | 519 |
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