All I Want Is Everything (Gossip Girl Series #3) Book

Nothing surprising here, except I love it when a character in an otherwise fluffy book has serious literary pretensions. Especially poetic ones. Because then every now and again I get surprised by a great big genuine belly laugh:

Sluts
[By Daniel, a dolorous high school poet. This poem magically gets accepted for publication in the New Yorker. The New Yorker! Because, yeah, that could totally happen. Totally. I mean, it's Just So Profound.]

wipe the sleep from my eyes and pour me another cup

i see what you've been trying to tell me all along

shaving your head and handling me (so delicately)

with satin and lace:

you're a whore

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My version would go a little something like this:


Chick Lit


pour me another glass of champagne

while i wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes.

i see what you've been trying to show me all along:

your genius lies in your unabashed absurdity (such absurdity!).

i should just sit back and accept that you

are the literary equivalent of a small-town stripper:

not very talented but still so entertaining.

you keep writhing on my lap,

and i keep turning the page.