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Contents
Introduction: The Hidden Epidemic
How to Use This Book Self-Disclosure and DedicationVisceral Fear of Harm
1 Why You Have Thorns in Your Heart
Walking-on-Eggshells Quiz
2 How Love Is Meant to Work and Why It So Often Doesn't
3 The Mirror of Love
4 Why Marriage Counseling, Psychotherapy, Anger-Management, and Abuser Treatment Made It Worse
Reclaiming the Self
5 Recovering Your Core Value
6 Removing the Thorns from Your Heart
7 Developing Your Natural Sense of Self, Competence, and Growth
Postscript to Part II
The Boot Camp
Introduction to the Boot Camp
8 Commitment to Healing
9 Finding Your Real Power
10 Connecting with Your Core Value
11 HEALS: Automatically Regulating Resentment, Anger, and the Impulse to Criticize, Reject, or Abuse
12 The Power of Compassion
13 Your Wife Needs Time and Lots of Compassion to Recover
14 Reestablishing Connection
15 Preventing Relapse: Weekly and Monthly Checklists
Resurrection for Your Marriage
16 How to Know That Change Is Permanent
17 Replacing Power Struggles with Mutual Empowerment
18 Rituals of Repair and Reconnection
Postscript: The Light within You
Appendix I: When Your Relationship Doesn't Make It
AppendixII: Resentful, Angry, and Abusive Women
Appendix III: Statistical Foundation of the Program
Acknowledgments
Index
About the Author
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