Watch Your Words: The Rowman & Littlefield Language-Skills Handbook for Journalists Book

Note: I listened to the book-on-cd version, read by the illustrious author himself. He has a sing-songy, can-you-believe-people-actually-believe-this-stuff? voice.

The cover shows a bullshit-detecting John Stossel holding a shovel, his weapon of choice. The shovel becomes a motif throghout the tome, appearing most frequently in the catchphrase he uses for chastising the bullshit-mongers: "Get the shovel!" By the twentieth time he says it, one can envision his legions of loyal fans chanting along: "get the shov-vellll!!" And I must say, it's catchy. It really does make one want to GET THE FUCKING SHOVEL.

In the book, Stossel rightly exposes some myths such as the Myth that homeopathic medicine is effective, or the Myth that gay people can become straight. Hey, I just read that book on randomness, so I know that by the virtue of the random nature of our world it's possible for him to get some right.

On the other Myths, however, Stossel seems to be wrong. But I don't see how he COULD be wrong. I mean, he unfailingly backs up his claims with evidence, oft from the National Board of Libertarians, or some other source of that ilk.

Now if you dare, allow me to take you into the mouth of Stossel himself (note: liberal (I mean libertarian?) paraphrasing to follow):

Myth #1: The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission helps women. Get the shov-vellll!!! Women are by nature caregivers, and don't want high-powered, high-stress jobs. They want to Nurture. They don't mind making less money if it means being able to care for a family.

Myth #2: Raising minimum wage would help the poor. Get the shov-vellll!!! Raising minimum wage would hurt businesses who in turn would not be able to pay as many people. Low minimum wage allows businesses to grow, and that prosperity will trickle down!

Myth #3: Teachers aren't paid enough. Get the shov-vellll!!! Teachers get so much time off. $30,000 for 9 months of work? Count me in! (this was the Myth that nearly made me crash my car. And I would have crashed it--into John Stossel had he been by)

Oh, also? His plan for global warming is to move inland and build dykes. What a thinker!

In conclusion, by all means DO get a shovel, and use the pointy end to stab Mr. Stossel in the neck.

Myth: stabs wounds to the neck cause a painless, instantaneous death.