Visitation Handbook Your Complete Guide to Parenting Apart Book

Oh, woe, woe, woooooooooooe is the urban, upper middle-class mother! The pressure! The expectations!

The subtitle of this books is "How We Are Sold on $800 Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler Couture, and Diaper Wipe Warmers and What It Means for Our Children." And my response, after reading the book, is "we? We who?" Full disclosure: I did talk my mother into buying me a diaper wipe warmer. In my defense, I was less than a week post-partum and my premature son was still in the NICU. It seemed like a good idea at the time. And also, it was $15. I don't think it compares to, for example, the Bugaboo (that's the $800+ stroller).

For the rest of it: Are you serious? I don't think I'm alone in not finding these temptations even part of my world. (Paul focuses on educational toys and videos, classes for babies, luxury items for babies, and outsourcing parenting.) Yeah, I have a few muticolored plastic things around the house that sing the alphabet, and we definitely log some time with Elmo; we try to make it to (free) storytime at the library most weeks, and...well, I can't really think of anything that approaches being a "luxury" item. I bought him an outfit at Gymboree one time that wasn't on sale. Does that count?

My point is this: I don't think I'm especially abstemious or unusual. Paul tries over and over to make the point that the high levels of pressure (to get your child into the right preschool!) and consumption in L.A. and Manhattan are trickling down to other areas of the U.S. Then she cites places like The Woodlands, Texas, and Bethesda, MD--i.e., wealthy bedroom communities for other urban areas. She's as out of touch as Hanna Rosin, who complained in the Atlantic about how much pressure there is to breastfeed. I have no doubt that there are some circles where all of this is true--where you feel horrible for giving your baby formula, for not buying organic cotton onesies, or for buying a cheap Graco stroller. But--here's the catch, Pamela and Hanna--these circles are not [i:]representative[/i:].

I dunno. The book was interesting enough that I kept reading, probably at least in part because it made me feel smug. "Well, I certainly don't do that! I always thought Baby Einstein sounded stupid. Ha! My baby sleeps fine, and I never had to hire a specialist!" I agree with and like Paul's ultimate point: Trust yourself as a parent to help your child and to know what is right; don't spoil your kids; remember that your parents can probably offer you some decent advice. I just...just...is this ultimate point really necessary? Are there really that many parents out there who don't have this kind of common sense? Reading a few of the Amazon reviews...I guess so.

Sad.