Trends & applications, 1985 Book

What a total waste of time. The Book of the Subgenius was a brilliant satire with actual historical information on the life of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs. This book is little more than a long winded repetitious rant by some guys who were picked last during high school gym class and want to get back at all the good looking, popular people. All it preaches is hate. If not for the interesting pictures throughout I am sure I never would have finished it. Or at least it would have taken me much longer. But I'm sure I would have stopped. Or could have. If I had wanted to. But I chose not to. Because.

The author claims that the pictures have hidden subliminal messages that only Yetynsyn can see. Apparently the bulk of these messages boil down to "Send $30 to the Subgenius Foundation". I don't know, I certainly didn't see anything. I'm sure the SGF will put the $30 I sent to good use, but I sent it voluntarily, not because of some silly drawings. I'm not some fool that can be tricked into shelling out $30 for some lame clip art and a few cheap pamphlets. But where else could I get an 8x11 picture of "Bob" suitable for framing? I just felt I had to have it. As if my life had lacked meaning until I could sit and bask in the glory of "Bob" every day. I also bought a pair of boxing gloves, so now I can stare at "Bob" without risking scratching my eyes out. Instead I just stare until a punch myself unconscious trying to scratch my eyes out while wearing boxing gloves. They all laughed at my bloody, puffy face at "work", so I jumped off the Conspiracy hamster wheel. Screw them and the chocolate triceratops they rode in on! There's plenty of good food in the dumpster behind the Piggly Wiggly, and now I have all the time I need to collect Slack.

July 5, 1998, 7 A.M. can't get here fast enough!