Too Much Coffee Man's Amusing Musings Book

	TMCM page I sign when asked	1
	TMCM boring legal stuff	2
	TMCM's Amusing Musings title page, in case you missed the cover	3
	TMCM's table of contents, this line, this word, this period	4
	TMCM's Introduction. It's an old cartoon. I've gotten better since then	6
	Tom Tomorrow's introduction. I tried to get him to take out the part with the strippers, but he wouldn't	7
Chapter 1
	TMCM freaks out. Espresso Guy tries to help. They fight. Espresso Guy runs for President. Haiku. Espresso Guy gets depressed then ponders the paradoxical relationship between expectation and experience with TMCM before they see a movie. At a cafe TMCM plays the lottery and wins millions. Everyone wins. Unfortunately, when everyone is equal, there's no fun in being superior. Espresso Guy provides a circular ending	11
Chapter 2
	TMCM tries to sleep, then wakes up grumpy, depressed, and then he has a realization about himself	35
	TMCM explains "Infotainment," and TV is stupid	40
	TMCM watches TV with friends. Too Much German White Chocolate Woman with Almonds repeats an idea from Chapter 1. Everyone participates in disturbing subtext, then TMCM ponders toilet paper advertising	42
	TMCM explains why smells are better than photos. He's mocked, goes to a cafe to listen in on someone else's conversation	44
Chapter 3
	TMCM wishes this cartoon had a better punch line	48
	TMCM says: "If I had a time machine, I'd give it to a young me. I never got one, so I'll never get one (unless I got one but was unable to give it to myself; let's not nit-pick)"	49
	TMCM embarks on a sea monkey adventure	50
Chapter 4
	The truth behind the $2 million McDonald's spilled coffee lawsuit	58
Chapter 5
	TMCM looks at a big cup of coffee	69
	TMCM, ad nauseam, etcetera	70
	TMCM says: "You Can't Escape Addiction--Choose Yours Carefully"	71
	TMCM is silly. I don't need more silly ideas. This cartoon was intended to stanch the flow of stupid "Too Much" character suggestions	72
	TMCM goes decaf, coughs, and meets someone more into coffee than himself	73
	TMCM drives logic into the ground; smart people know too much to be happy. It's smart to want happiness. It's smart to be stupid, because only stupid people are happy	77
	TMCM freaks out	78
	TMCM realizes the amount of work to maintain even a mediocre lifestyle is astounding	79
	TMCM mocks politicians because politicians are liars	80
	TMCM tries to be a superhero (but not really). He bumps into Mr. Election (whose power comes from a voting audience). TMCM expresses his desire for fame to Espresso Guy and Too Much German White Chocolate Woman with Almonds	83
	TMCM shows how to "become one with the urban environment through stress"	86
	TMCM meets Waif Supermodel at a party. She's dumb	87
	TMCM hears: "Just because everyone is crazy, it doesn't mean that you're sane"	90
Chapter 6
	TMCM realizes that, concerning most things, the more you know the more you're sickened. Espresso Guy exclaims, "Knowledge is nausea"	93
	TMCM meets a jerk	94
	TMCM freaks out and complains about the future we should already have. He and his friends go to outer space and freak out about the rebirth of the Cold War. TMCM runs out of air in a thinly veiled "Take Care of the Planet" metaphor. Dumb jokes and they go home. TMCM freaks out again and moves to the country where he meets a weird guy. Espresso Guy inexplicably shows up	95
	TMCM explains to a street preacher why God is an atheist	119
Chapter 7
	Page 121 (a deconstructivist cartoon)	121
	TMCM remembers when NY was known for crime (when cartoon was funnier)	122
	TMCM and Espresso Guy pay homage to street musicians	123
	TMCM fights the sin of repeating jokes	124
	TMCM's version of: "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king"	125
	TMCM ponders self-worth and fights the sin of repeating jokes, again	126
	TMCM in a happiness fight	128
	TMCM is not in this cartoon	129
	TMCM and Espresso Guy laugh at organized anarchists	130
	TMCM and Espresso Guy as symbolic characters in the global warming argument	131
	TMCM goes to a cafe. Imagine that	133
	TMCM "Story Time!"	134
	TMCM explains why money is a placebo and gives up being TMCM. He loses his body and, after finding it, makes a list of everyone who has pissed him off. He excludes Espresso Guy, and this pisses off Espresso Guy, which is funny	137
	TMCM's many moods	141
	The End
	TMCM's ironic, self-righteous mocking of people who hang out in coffee shops	143
	Ad trying to look so classy that it won't look like an ad	144