The Fermata Book

What would you do if you could pause time on a whim, freezing everyone and everything, while you wander around, without anyone seeing or hearing anything? What a fab premise for a story.


Image: Frozen time (Source.)

Cher famously sang that If I Could Turn Back Time, she'd strive to change and so win back her lover.

In Groundhog Day, another rewinding scenario, weatherman Phil (who wakes to Cher (and Sonny) singing "I Got You Babe" each morning), tries various silly, selfish, funny, and dangerous things, before turning to good deeds and new skills (play the piano, speak Italian, sculpt ice) to earn the affections of Rita.

I asked a group of friends the opening question about pausing time. Their answers included:
• Crime-fighting superhero;
• Rob banks;
• (A third person said the first two options are not mutually exclusive)
• Switch people's hats;
• Get more work done;
• Stealer of unsecured trifles;
• Stare at people's faces longer than is socially acceptable;
• Get perfect composition, light, and focus for photography (which is itself a way of freezing time);
• Go to Africa and steal all the poachers' ammunition;
• Work through a political hit list;
• Think of a great comeback or make minor adjustments, for good or evil;
• Get Trump's tax returns to NYT and WashPo;
• Take selfies with celebs;
• Jump queues;
• Swap neighbours' mail so they have to meet/talk to each other;
• Try on clothes without needing the dressing room;
• Put the roulette ball on their number;
• Tie people's shoelaces together - but not prevent unrelated accidents, as "that would be playing God" (huh?).

None of my friends suggested checking up on a partner, prying into personal stuff of family, friends, enemies, colleagues, or celebrities, nor cheating in quizzes or tests. Nothing sexual, either, though I expect some thought of it, and then thought better of it. One did suggest debagging (pulling down the trousers) of an obnoxious colleague, but that was for revenge, rather than titillation.

My favourite was: "Squish everyone's faces into smiles, on the underground / subway. When time re-started they'd all be smiling at each other."

If only this book had a dash of such creativity, humour, and compassion. Even the political hit list is arguably better than what unfolds.

Why DNF? (= Did Not Finish)

This is supposedly comical literary erotica. It also has Baker's trademark, almost pathological, attention to tiny details of movement, touch, and texture. (See my review of The Mezzanine, HERE.)

Arno Strine doesn't want to use his power for riches, revenge, love, nor even sex, and has no aspirations to do good. He flicks into what he calls the Fermata or Fold to undress women with more than his eyes, and touch them intimately. Yes, you read that right - or maybe I should say wrong. Very wrong. He figures that as they don't know, there's no harm in it.

I kept going for a third of it (95 pages - hence no rating), in the hope of finding the promised humour or eroticism, or just to see Arno develop as a character. Also, I had been told there was a twist, and I've enjoyed other books by Baker, including the very sexual Vox (see my review HERE). I'm not a prude. I understand the temptation to use such an ability for smutty ends, but to do it so invasively, for more than twenty years, without any real reflection, let alone remorse… Nope.

I hope karma eventually whacks Arno like a ten ton truck, but I don't want to continue reading. Yes, it was published a generation ago, before #MeToo, and yes, Arno occasionally has a few thoughts about boundaries, but it's just too horrid and repetitive. Even when he puts sex toys in unexpected places it's more creepy than funny.

Consent

Consent should be freely given, unambiguous, keen, and continuous.

Maybe Arno eventually learns that, but in case he doesn't, may I offer you a cup of tea?

My effort and expectations, the quality of my tea and crockery, and your past enjoyment of tea are no guarantee you want a cup with me right now - even if you warmly accepted my invitation. If I want tea and you don't, I can always have some by myself later - as could you if I withdraw my invitation.


Image: "But you wanted tea last night" (Source, Buzzfeed article.)

Animation of the cup of tea analogy, 2.5 minutes, HERE.

It's a bit simplistic: in particular, it ignores cultural expectations and other unequal power dynamics that might make someone say they consent, when they don't really. Nevertheless, it's a useful starting point to explore the subject.

Film adaptation?!

I was amazed to see that imdb lists a 2015 film, with a cast of four and running time of 66 minutes. However, there are no release details, nor a single rating. Maybe it never happened. A film in the 1990s (the book was published in 1994), perhaps, but in the twenty-teens? Surely not. I hope not.

What would I do?

If I could pause time, I'd regain what I wasted on this and use it to read something better. Then I'd squish some faces, switch some hats, and restart time. (I'm not going to admit to anything else here!)