The Everything Parent’s Guide to Raising Boys: A Complete Handbook to Develop Confidence, Promote Self-Esteem, and Improve Communication Book

Introduction xiii

Chapter 1 It's a Boy! 1

Why Does Gender Matter? 1

Are Boys Different from Girls? 3

Research about Boys and Girls 4

Who's Easier? 5

Myths about Raising Boys 7

Exploring Your Own Expectations 9

What Do You Want for Your Son? 11

Chapter 2 Preparing Yourself to Raise Your Son 13

How Parents Affect Their Children 13

Learning from Your Parents 15

The Nature of Attachment 16

Self-Care and Balance 18

A Word about Your Relationship 21

What You Will Do as a Parent 23

Chapter 3 The Basics of Parenting Your Son 25

Belonging and Significance 25

Why Relationships Matter to Boys 27

What about Birth Order? 30

Understanding the Beliefs Behind Behavior 32

Kindness and Firmness 35

Learning to Listen 37

The Importance of Early Decisions 39

The Message of Love 40

Chapter 4 Your Son's First Year 41

Physical Development and Parenting 41

Brain Development 43

Your Son's Emotional Development 47

Your Son's Cognitive Development 48

What If I Think Something's Wrong? 50

Temperament 51

The Importance of Touch for Boys 54

Do Babies Need Discipline? 55

Child-Care 56

Chapter 5 Your Preschool Boy 59

Creating a Safe Environment 59

Language and Social Skills 62

Getting into Your Son's World 66

The Value of Curiosity 67

Developmental Appropriateness 68

The Terrible Trio 70

Mealtimes, Snacks, and Other Challenges 70

Nighty-Night-or Not 73

The Perils of Potty Training 74

Is It Too Soon for Technology? 75

Chapter 6 Discipline as Teaching 77

Discipline and Long-Range Parenting 77

Connection Before Correction 80

Discipline Versus Punishment 81

Following Through 84

Encouraging Communication 86

Teaching Life Skills 91

Chapter 7 Boys and Emotions 93

The Myth of the Stoic Male 93

The Voice of Culture 94

The Purpose of Emotions 95

Teaching an Emotional Vocabulary 96

Learning Maturity 99

Anger: The Acceptable Male Emotion 101

Boys and Depression 103

Keeping Your Son Connected 105

Chapter 8 Boys and Dads 107

What Sons Learn from Their Fathers 107

Play and Active Love 111

Fathers and Empathy 114

How and When to Support Mom 116

Being Your Son's Role Model 117

The Gift of Fatherhood 119

Chapter 9 Boys and Moms 121

The Dilemma of Mothers and Sons 121

What Sons Learn from Their Mothers 123

Connecting with Your Son 125

How Close Is Too Close? 128

Mom Can Play, Too 129

The Other Women 131

Chapter 10 Preparing Your Son to Learn 133

Why Boys Struggle with School 133

How Boys Learn 136

Helping Your Son Succeed in School 138

Boys and Books 139

Attention Deficit Disorder 142

Grades and Homework 145

The Dangers of Praise 147

What about Same-Sex Schools? 147

Chapter 11 Boys and Their Peers 149

Development of Social Skills 149

Boys and Their Friends 152

Sports and Competition 154

The Importance of Play 157

Bullying and Aggression 158

Making Room for Girls 162

Supporting Your Son's Friendships 163

Chapter 12 The Adolescent Boy 165

Understanding the Adolescent Brain 165

Hormones, Emotions, and Anger 167

The Task of Adolescence 169

Setting Appropriate Limits with Your Son 171

Curfew, Dating, and Driving 174

Enjoying Your Son 177

Chapter 13 The Importance of Character 179

Teaching Character 179

Encouragement Versus Praise 181

Teaching Responsibility 183

Mindsight and Compassion 185

Ethics: Encouraging Integrity 188

Spirituality in Your Son's Life 189

Supporting Resilience and Self-Reliance 190

Chapter 14 Boys and the Outside World 193

The Power of Mass Media 193

Taming the Television 195

Boys, Media, and Violence 197

Video and Computer Games 199

Keeping Up with Your Kid 200

Life in the Digital World 201

Movies, Music, and More 204

Chapter 15 Dealing with Risky Behavior 207

Adolescent Immortality 207

Influencing Your Son's Behavior 209

Talking to Your Son 211

What about Your Past? 213

Spying on Your Son 214

Smoking in the Boys' Room 216

Chapter 16 Boys and Sexuality 219

Gender Identity in Boys 219

Teaching Your Son about Sex 221

Sex in the Real World 223

Becoming Sexually Active 225

Is My Son Gay? 227

Affection with Your Growing Son 229

Chapter 17 Coping with Real-Life Responsibilities 231

Encouraging Responsibility in Your Son 231

Chores and Allowance 233

The Art of Managing Money 236

Should Your Son Get a Job? 239

Respect, Courtesy, and Manners 241

Self-Reliance in Action 242

Chapter 18 Single Parents and Stepfamilies 245

No More Broken Homes 245

The Effect of Divorce on Boys 247

Coparenting 249

Life in a Single-Parent Home 252

Stepfamilies That Work 254

Little Men 257

Chapter 19 Getting Ready to Let Go 259

Knowing When It's Time to Step Back 259

Weaning 260

Life Skills and Independence 261

From Parent to Mentor 263

When Your Son Returns Home 264

The Empty Nest 267

Keeping the Connection Alive 269

Chapter 20 Celebrate Your Son 271

A Moment for Reflection 271

Setting the Stage 273

Have Faith in Your Son 274

Rituals and Traditions 275

Staying in Touch 277

Congratulations! You Raised a Son 279

Appendix A Bibliography 281

Appendix B Additional Resources 283

Index 285