The 12 Rules of Grandparenting Book

	Introduction: Why Break the Rules?	vii
	Some Rules are Made to be Broken	vii
	"Hooray, I'm a Grandparent!" (So What Does That Mean?)	xiv
	Getting Started	xv
	Twelve Traditional Grandparent Rules	xvii
Rule 1	Grandparents Should be Cheerful	1
	Except When	1
	When Difficulties Arise	7
	Saying "No!" to Stress	8
	A Grandparent's Decision-Making Rights	9
	A Positive Grandparent Attitude	11
Rule 2	Grandchildren Should Listen to Their Grandparents	16
	Tuning in to the Same Channel	16
	Finding Ways to Say it Better	19
	Teaching Without Preaching	23
Rule 3	Grandparents Should Love to Baby-Sit	32
	Expressions of Love	32
	Reading Between the Lines	35
	Child Safety Checklist	40
	Baby-Sitting Safety Kit	41
	Sample Medical Release Form	41
	Negotiating Your "Contract"	42
	When You'd Rather Say "No, Thank You!"	48
Rule 4	Grandparents Should Know About Life	54
	Hazy (And Selective) Memories	54
	Recalling Ages and Stages	56
Rule 5	Grandparents Should Love to Spoil	65
	Sense and Sensibility	65
	Parent Reactions	65
	Sugar and Spice	68
	"No Fail" Toy Selections	70
	Setting Up a Play Environment	71
	The Playful Grandparent	72
	The Playful Child	75
	Giving Money to Grandchildren	81
	When All is Said and Done	82
Rule 6	Grandparents Should be Full of Fun Ideas	86
	So, Why Don't I Remember Them?	86
	Making Your Home a Fun Place to be	87
	Chores for Grandchildren	88
	Day Visits	89
	Day Visit Plan	91
	Planning for a Longer Stay	92
	Sample Weekly Visit Plan	95
	Annual Get-Togethers	96
	Activities to Get you Started	97
	Sample Lunch Plan	98
	Snacks	100
	Breakfast Ideas	101
	Main Dish Ideas	102
	Places to go	123
Rule 7	Grandparents Should Love all of Their Grandchildren the Same	132
	Secrets of the Heart	132
	How Equal does Equal Need to be?	134
	Siblings	135
	Step- and Adopted Grandchildren	135
	A Grandchild with a Disability	138
	Sharing with the "Other" Grandparents	140
Rule 8	Grandparents Should Love to Help out	143
	Lifestyle Differences	143
	Designing a Life of Your Own	145
	Slipping and Sliding	146
Rule 9	Grandparents Should Hate to Discipline	150
	The Dirty "D" Word	150
	Getting the Results that You Want	151
Rule 10	Grandparents Should Know How to Care for Sick Kids	160
	Calls for Help	160
	Shaping Healthy Attitudes	161
	When Baby Comes Early	162
	The Long and Short of it	164
	Talking Dilemmas	165
	Serious Illness	166
Rule 11	Bragging Should be Done in Moderation	170
	Hitting High Notes	170
	Creative Ways to Brag	171
Rule 12	Being a Grandparent is Always Fun	176
	But Just in Case it isn't	176
	The Devastation of Divorce	179
	Legal Rights and Visitation	183
	Grandparent Custody	184
	Grandchildren Who Get into Trouble	185
	Final Thoughts	189
	Giving and Getting the Best	189
	Appendix	191
	Grandparent Resources	191
	What Grandparents Love and Fear	194
	What Teenagers Remember About Their Grandparents	196
	Congressional "Year of the Grandparent" Proclamation	197
	Index	199