Starting Kids Off Right:How to Raise Confident Children Who Can Make Friends and Build Healthy Relationships Book

Introduction
What Are Relationships and How Do They Work?     1
Sullivan's theory of human relationships     4
First Stage: Infancy (birth to two years)     5
Second Stage: Childhood (two to four or five years)     7
Third State: Juvenile Era (about five to ten years)     9
Later Stages of Development (about nine to early adolescence)     11
The four phases of a relationship     12
The Choice Phase     13
The Beginning Phase     14
The Deepening Phase     16
The Ending Phase     18
What's next?     20
The Language of Relationships     21
How language works     23
Nonverbal communication and relationships     25
Major types of nonverbal behavior     29
Facial Expression     29
Paralanguage     33
Personal Space     36
Touch     38
Posture     39
Gesture, Objectics, and Rhythm     41
What's next?     43
Infancy (Birth to Two Years)     45
Order and predictability     46
Locus of Control     48
Locus of Control Scale for Adults     50
A sense ofself     56
Using Nonverbal Language To Build a Strong Sense of Self     58
The Adult's Self-Concept     61
A secure attachment relationship     63
How Attachment Relationships Develop     64
Fostering a Secure Attachment Relationship     73
What's next?     79
Childhood (Two to Five Years)     81
Parents, children, and the attachment relationship     82
Setting the Tone for Learning How To Relate     83
Helping Kids Move from Dependence Toward Independence     85
Creating a Holding Environment     86
Fostering a Secure Attachment Relationship in Young Children     88
Repairing the Attachment Relationship     92
Spending Time with Your Children     96
Breaking the Cycle of Unhealthy Parenting     98
Learning to relate through communication     103
Communicating with Words     104
Communicating Without Words: Reading and Sending Nonverbal Cues     106
Understanding Feelings     113
Learning to relate through play     116
Setting the Stage for Play     116
Practicing Social Skills Through Play     117
Learning the Rules of Peer Relationships Through Play      119
Fostering "Good" Play in Children     122
Repairing Problems in Children's Play Skills     128
What's next?     129
The Juvenile Stage (Five to Ten Years)     131
Learning to make friends among peers     134
Establishing a healthy sense of control     177
Conclusion     181
Selected Bibliography     186
Acknowledgments     189
Index     190
About the Authors     195